When the Snow Melts

A new name

"Are you going to attend her funeral?" My roommate asked,clicking and scoring a kill. I was hesitant on her funeral,I didn't want to go.

'I want Ri-chan to do what she wants.'

But I want to say goodbye. I nodded at her and I got up. I wore my coat and headed out to the cafe opposite of the flower shop. Maybe I just need some drinks. Maybe it'll light up my mood a bit. But I was wrong. As soon as I entered the cafe I was greeted by her doctor.

"Ah...Ri-san?" He mumbled while holding the paper cup. I bowed at him and went to the counter.

"Please wait! I have something for you..." I raised a brow.Something for me? He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue letter.

"This is for you...from Alexandra-san." How surprising.How laughable.And how...sweet...I gave out a sigh and thanked him for the letter,he went back to his shift. I ordered a cup of coffee and sat down.Staring at the flower shop,the shop that I would visit every month to get her flowers which she would brightly react to. But I'll never see that smile again. 

Maybe this is the first time,I didn't blame myself. She was my only friend,the only person I held onto. My only firefly.A tear streamed down,I wiped it off quickly and drank my coffee. 

-----

It wasn't suppose to happen. This wasn't suppose to happen. For the first time,I acted for someone else,I acted out of foolish anger.

There were people who attended her funeral,most were from high school,even Hirata-sensei came.

"It was pitful."

Shut up.

"I know right,I heard she didn't even get to attend university."

Shut up.

"Touwa." Someone patted my back,it was a Senpai back from high school. 

"It must've been hard for you,but it's okay now.You'll eventually have to let go." I snapped.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I picked up his collar and pushed him away. My chest was filled with rage,it was boiling with anger.

"She doesn't need this!"

This wasn't suppose happen.

"SHE DOESN'T NEED PEOPLE TO CARE FOR HER ONLY WHEN SHE'S GONE!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.She didn't deserve this,hot tears came out of my eyes. I cried out loud one more time.

"YOU PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T EVEN CARE FOR HER....ngh...ONE BIT....W-while she h-had time..." Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around me,they were different from hers,but it was somewhat warm and safe. 

"I think that's enough." It was a male,his voice was deep and he stroked my head.He smelt like roses.

"I'll take her back." Who is this guy? He took me back to the cafe the night before and wiped off my tears. I'm sorry I caused a scene Hotaru. 

After he offered me a cup of warm milk I looked up to him.It was the shopkeeper. I didn't realize he was there.He had caramel hair and hazel eyes,he then turned to me and smile.

"Tulip-san was really aggressive.Are you okay now?" He asked,I nodded. Ignoring the fact that  he named me after the last flower I gave to her,I drank the milk.

"If you're feeling better...we could visit tomorrow if you want." If I want...

"Ritsuka." I blurted.

"Eh?" He titled his head in confusion. I want to make new friends...

"Touwa Ritsuka...is my name." I completed my sentence,he was in shock that I shared my name,but Hotaru taught me one thing.

'Strangers eventually becomes friends.'

"Haha..Yukio, I'm Chizuhara Yukio.Nice to meet you Rin." What was he? A fan of nicknames? 

We talked about various things raging from my major to the flower language. I learned a lot.

"Since you would always look at the tulips at the store,they're a symbol of perfect lover.But you would look at the yellow ones more,so you have a unrequited love for her?" He asked,I flinched and titled my head.

"I love her.Like a mother," I wrapped my fingers around the cup, "yellow reminds me of the sun and her hair." I explained.What was an unrequited love?

"Hahaha!" He burst out laughing.Strange,I don't find it uncomfortable.

"Then,you've been looking at the wrong flower."He stated,I don't actually care which flower meant what.But I liked love.It was warm and sweet.

"Isn't it the same?" I asked him.He looked at me perplexed and chuckled.

"No,Rin.It's not the same,love is...complicated.There are many "types" of love like how there are many types of flowers with different meanings to it." I see...

"She liked white roses,she said her mother would give her a white rose whenever she was down." the cup was warm.

"I think her mother wanted to show her she was worthy and that she was heavenly."He further explained. The talk was more enjoyable than I thought.

------

"Ohaiyou Rin." He waved at me when I reached the shop. He handed me a bouquet of rose with a tea color,mixed with of sweet pea.

'I'll always remember...Thank you for a lovely time.'  The flowers spoke to me I smiled and we visited Hotaru. 

"Hey Hotaru..." I greeted,I bent down and handed her the flowers.

"It's only been a day but it's been lonely.I'm trying to live the way I want and I'm trying to open up to new people." If Kamisama existed I want to ask him...

Can I live with no further regrets?

Ohaiyou-Good morning
Kamisama-God
Senpai-Senior