When the Snow Melts

Our Past

Going back to the classroom with this face will only bring up rumors.So instead I headed to the roof,longing for a lonely peace. But it never went as planned. Hotaru was there,feeling the icy wind,her blonde hair was waving me with a bright welcome,she never tied her hair. She turned back to me with a warm smile. Which then switched to,at least I could call it worried.

"Ri-chan what happened to your face?" There she goes again,putting aside her problems and finding a solution to mine. I pulled my short hair to hide it,pitch-black. Just like that person's words.

'Things that are "correct" should stay "correct". If you don't want to die then,live.'

"I fell." I lied,she pouted and pulled me to the chair,it was freezing to sit there but a radiant warmth was beside me. 

"Are you okay?" 

Huh? 

"R-ri-chan?! Why are you crying?! Ehhh Ri-chan!" Her sweet and caring voice makes me sick,but it was warm.So warm I wanted a figure like her to be in my life. So warm...

She hugged me,without asking anymore questions she comforted with a lullaby,it was soothing,something inside me was yearning for her,I like this silence.I felt like I was filled with warmth and love.

I don't care if strangers live or not...and hating someone seems like some kind of fashion trend,but for some reason,for the first time...I want to be loved by someone...I want to be cared by someone...

It was just a question.

So why...is my chest aching so much that my tears won't stop?

"Daijyobu yo Ri-chan I'm here." She caressed my red cheek,her hand was slim and soft. It was the type of hand I wanted to hold alongside me. 

Ahh...so that's why it hurts so much...

I wiped off my tears and breathed in the cool air jabbing my throat.I want to trust her,but I'm scared. Is it okay to cover up my pain with these words...?Are these wounds really okay to be expressed with words like these?

"I'm lonely..." Is it..?

"Mhn,that's why I'm here Ri-chan. Haha,you know,my dad couldn't make it here.I lied when I moved here too,I didn't move here with them. I came here alone." 

I'm pathetic.

What was the difference between me and her? I was surrounded by praise and people,but I'm lonely...Hotaru on the other hand...obvious answers to stupid questions.

"Gomen..." I apologized,but she shook her head.

"I was actually happy when that day,when you gave me the bandage.I was alone and the classmates made fun of me,even though we were in the same class,you barely talked. But that day,Ri-chan talked to me.You reached your hand out to me.And that made me so happy." She smiled,but as she did,her eyes were swelling up.

It must've been suffocating.Maybe just a little bit...

"Hotaru...I...me too,I enjoyed our time together.And I think you know why...I always come up here." 

"Yeah...we both had the same purpose...but you know Ri-chan! I'm glad you returned from the rooftop everyday." She hugged me again.

Surely everyone dies,slowly like the leaves we'll become old and wither away,rotting in the ground.That's why Kamisama...until then...please let me by her side...

-----

After that day,we spent our lunch together on the rooftop,in the school garden and in our class. More and more it was getting warmer with her everyday. I remembered our conversation,the one that's engraved in me.

"What's your favorite flower Ri-chan?" 

"...I don't know...I feel like they're all flowers,they're the same." 

"Ehhh that's boringgg Ri-chan!"

"Haha...What's yours?" I laughed?

"A white rose.I like them a lot!" She smiled but somehow...it looked sad.

"That's why Ri-chan! Promise me." She stood up and placed her forehand on mine,her hand was small compared to mine,I couldn't even see her nails.

"When you see a white rose,you'll think of me!" Her grin was too big for her face,too dim for her eyes,but I nodded.

"Mn.Sounds like a nice Haiku."

"Ri-chan hidoii!" 

All was well until that day.

"Touwa-san!" A classmate came running to me withe sweat. I knew then,something was definitely wrong.

"Ho...Hotaru-san...!" 

"What happened to her?!"I clenched her sleeves and demanded an answer.

"We...we were prepping for the costumes...and...ha..ha...Hotaru-san collasped! So sudden-"

I rushed to the sewing room,catching my breath I spotted the girl surrounding a blonde on the ground.Why are they just staring?! 

No...Why am I staring...Why can't I move? 

I realized...why she was shining so brightly...and that light...just like a firefly in the summer nights...just like that,it was dying out. Slowly but surely...

Daijyobu yo- It's ok
Hidoi- Cruel
Haiku-a Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world
Gomen-I'm sorry
Kamisama-God(In Japanese)