Becoming First Lead

viii the talk

NIKKI POV

I paced back and forth waiting for Stephanie to get to my place with Alex. I'm nervous, I've never been on the other side of this . Am I his mistress? No , I stopped it as quickly as it began. Besides we haven't done anything else . My guilt is heavy in my heart. But they're coming over so I can clear my conscience. But will that clear my heart?

Alex still has my key , so I wonder if he'll call up or just let himself in when they arrive . Why am I so antsy? I really dislike confrontations like this but it has to be done . If only I was paid the same decency , maybe I wouldn't have struggled nearly as bad . I won't deny that I do have some insecurities because of my past, but that's what dating is for. To rediscover myself , to remind myself that men still find me attractive .

I heard the front door open, so he decided to get comfortable with my keys, and I heard the two of them shuffle in before I turned around . Before I can greet them Stephanie stopped me , "I know you're nervous . Alex told me what happened."

Shocked. I felt a little blindsided since I expected that both of us would talk to her. But the fact that she hasn't punched me or yelled at me is a good sign , "he did?"

"Yes, and I'm not mad . In fact , I was actually going to break things off with him when I got back," she says which shocks me even more .

"You were?"

She nods , "it was fun but Alex and I are in two different places . I just can't see myself committing ."

"But you're not pissed at the betrayal?" I wanted to make sure.

"Hun, of course not . I know you wouldn't maliciously go out of your way to backstab me. It's not in you . Don't beat yourself up . Look, things just turn out this way, if anything he should be mad at me," she states.

Genuinely confused , "how so?"

She peeks over at Alex and then back at me , "I hadn't been quite loyal on my trips. Hence why I was going to break up with him. Besides he told me he was drunk and you were quick to put distance . Nikki, I know you would never do anything to hurt me."

Relief. I felt a whoosh of relief because I really didn't want to lose either one of them. I stare into her eyes to be met with genuine honesty and I couldn't help but let the corners of my lips tug upwards into a smile , "I'm glad things won't get weird between us. But wait-"

"We'll talk about the other stuff later," she says with one brow cocked up .

Yes we will . You've been cheating this whole time on Alex? Although I'm in no position to lecture, I will. They should have just broken up if she was going to do that to him . I looked over at Alex and all he does is shrug , "are we okay?" He asks.

I happily nod , "yes. Now come over here." He gives me a giant hug and we embrace each other for a little longer than necessary but it felt good . I looked up to him, literally because he's so tall , "I guess I won't avoid you."

"Please, you think I'll let you go that easily?" The words roll out of his mouth . Even though I know what he's saying, it felt like it held more meaning . For some reason , my heart beat just a little louder. I felt that thump against my chest that I placed my hand over it to make sure I wasn't having some weird heart palpitations.