Pretty Girl Tears

Chapter 15

Apologies for the dark chapters, this is the last dark one for a while you'll be happy to know

Camila was left thinking for a while that night.. she'd cried... yelled.. even scolded herself for every bad thing she'd caused in her life.. strange but.. fitting

She had a moment of reflection however as she notice her phone buzzing upon the counter, she ran to pick it up thinking it would be Lauren but it wasn't.. it was Mani.. she'd called her privately asking the girl to swear not to let the elder know she's swiped it from within her phone..

The conversation last for hours.. Mani only wanted to apologise for Fallon's behaviour after she'd come home admitting to the guilt she'd felt in over stepping the mark with someone she knew Lauren to care for.. but that apology lead to questions.. questions burning a hole in Camila's mind that the girl on the other end of the call had happily answered

She asked about the moment they'd found out about mason.. she told her honestly.. perfectly relaying the flash back Fallon had experienced moments before lashing out.. not that Camila knew it to be the reason why.. she'd asked why Fallon was so hurt.. persistent on defending her friend.. mani respond.. detailing the lost sensation of guilt built up like a house on her shoulders

It was deep.. too deep.. but after a while Camila was only lead to ask "do you think Fallon would be willing to come over to my place tomorrow night? I want to give her something.." Mani said she'd try.. at least convince her to stop by..

And so after hours and hours of sketching away the next evening fell and the dull knock upon her door sent her flying down the stairs reaching to pull back the handle with a half hindered smile hiding her messy chalk covered hands behind her back as Fallon's intimidating glare returned in her direction

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah.. um, come on in"

She ushered extending her arm out that lead towards the lounge in which Fallon reluctantly set down her bag leaning back against the island she'd previously let loose towards Camila

"I um.. I wanted to talk to you.. well.. not talk but, show you something? Mani called me last night and said you felt bad which.. you shouldn't have because I deserved it.."

She began stepping back towards the couch to grab for the black book filled to the brim with new hand drawn artwork that had left blisters over her delicate fingers and a small cut under her pinky, Fallon however rolled her eyes looking on at the shorter girl with a huffing gaze

"I'm not interested in your little story book.. Lauren already showed it to me.."

"No it's different! I mean.. I only made it today.. it's for you, I just wanted you to see it because.. well you'll get it.. I hope"

The taller notice the girls stuttering nervous words and only felt slightly guilty as she knew herself to be the cause, she stepped forward gently taking the extended book into her palms before slumping down into the couch opposite Camila who sat across the other side

"Mani let me ask her some stuff and well.. I make these story's to understand things, get the thoughts in my head out in a way that makes sense.. so yeah, I just want you to look that's all.. you can leave right after"

"You called me over.. to look at a book.."

Fallon ask still hesitant on the idea as she seemed to be spending more time with the girl than she'd liked to have been.. Camila however was Insistent as she nod back firmly leaning herself into the couch with a weak half smile

"The title I could find anywhere to write but it's called 'I'm trying to understand'

Was all she said before Fallon again rolled her eyes flipping over to the first page where she saw a heart.. big enough to cover the entire space leaving only a few gaps of air unfortunately filled with dark black chalk.. no room to breath.. no way to see.. just black.. everything else was heart.. and in that heart were words.. many words actually some so small even too hard to read.. but they were supposed to be like that.. supposed to be unseen, the ones visible read things like 'I'm ok'.. 'I'm fine'.. 'he didn't mean it'.. 'he loves me' some of the smaller unseen words however reading 'it hurt'.. 'Why me'... 'I don't deserve this'