Off Limits | Jensoo

Chapter 4

Jisoo wants more. Wants more touching, wants more skin, wants more laughter, wants more cuddling, wants more Jennie. Jisoo wants so badly to be something other than just a friend and a good fuck to her roommate. She wants Jennie to come to her junior showcase on her arm. She wants to wake up beside Jennie every morning without one of them having to sneak back to their own room before anyone else gets up. She wants to be able to kiss Jennie in public without worrying who will see or if Jennie is going to accuse Jisoo of getting too involved and walk away from her forever.

She tries to tell herself she's not falling in love with Jennie. She tries to tell herself she could live without Jennie if the other girl ever decided to end what was going on between them. But all of these reassurances are thrown out the window every time Jennie smiles at Jisoo. All Jennie has to do is grin in Jisoo's direction and it's like the rest of the world falls away. Jisoo kind of hates herself for being such a sap.

Jennie seems to know what she's thinking because every time Jisoo tries to have the conversation with her, she'll suddenly be late for work or need to meet a friend or just jump Jisoo's bones. While Jisoo can't exactly complain about the latter, she is beginning to get quite frustrated by the situation. She's not sure how much longer she can hold in her secret without blurting it out. However, she makes it through the semester without exposing herself and her arrangement with Jennie goes on as usual.

She spends her Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks in awkward silence with her mom and missing Jennie desperately. She can only hope Jennie misses her just as much. Judging by the intensity of the sex following the separation, Jisoo thinks maybe, just maybe, Jennie might feel the same.

"So we should probably talk about... whatever this is between us."

Jisoo isn't really sure what she's doing because trying to talk to Jennie about feelings is kind of like cornering an angry tiger. And then poking it with a stick.

"Jisoo, can we not talk about this right now?"

Right now being while they are still naked and panting in Jisoo's bed. Jennie's laying underneath Jisoo and gazing up at her with that air of indifference that Jisoo kind of hates. Well, sometimes she finds it really hot, but right now she wishes it would just go away.

"And when are you going to want to talk about it? I'm tired of not knowing where I stand with you, Jennie. You can't keep avoiding this conversation."

Jennie huffs in annoyance and Jisoo is momentarily distracted by the sensation of their nipples brushing together. She almost gives into the temptation to forget the imminent argument and fuck Jennie into oblivion again, but her hardheadedness wins out and she sits up so she is straddling Jennie's hips, the sheets pooling around her thighs.

"Jennie, please. I can't keep doing this without knowing what you're thinking. I... may or may not have feelings for you and I just really wish you'd talk to me."

Jennie sighs and turns her piercing gaze away from Jisoo. Her wild chestnut hair is fanned out around her head on the pillow and Jisoo would compare her to an angel if she weren't so annoyed with her right now. Jennie finally swallows hard and props herself up on her elbows.

"Then maybe we should stop doing this."

Jisoo's stomach drops. This is not the way she envisioned this conversation going at all.

"Jennie..."

"If you're unhappy with the way things are now, Jisoo, we need to end it. I'm afraid I can't give you what you want."

Jennie can't give Jisoo feelings. Closing her eyes against the keen sting of disappointment, Jisoo breathes deeply through her nose. She feels hands rest themselves on her thighs and thumbs begin to rub comforting circles into the skin there. When Jisoo opens her eyes, Jennie's gaze is full of hurt and regret. Fuck stopping. Jisoo would rather have part of Jennie than not have her at all. Jisoo's voice shakes with unwelcome emotion when she speaks.