𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦?! | 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝟏𝟗. 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐭

You sucked in a breath at his reveal. The name was completely unfamiliar–you'd never seen him call a Sam, nobody of that name ever visited, and his use of past tense–the parting hadn't been clean, had it? But this was his story; you kept listening.

"I was surprised when she said yes, to be honest. I remember I called Ni–Sapnap, and I couldn't sleep because I was grinning all night. And–"

A small laugh rolled out of you. You couldn't help it. "Clay, you? You were surprised? Really?"

"Yeah? I was. [Name], what do you mean?"

You shook your head. "Never mind."

He gave you a baffled look before his expression deepened into more serious recollections. "Then she cheated on me."

His words thudded in your chest with finality. All the blurry snippets of the past months resolved themselves into clarity–that explained it all.

You were probably supposed to offer condolences at this point, but all you could do is nod.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make things heavy. Usually, I don't want to go on and on about my ex. Not a good look for anyone."

"That's okay. Thank you for... entrusting me with this part of you. That was brave. And please know... that whatever you have to say, I'll gladly listen. You're never a burden. Okay?" You nudged his side.

He nudged back. "Okay."

There was a beat of silence. Clay fidgeted. "It's getting a little stuffy in here. Can we–?"

"Yeah." You agreed. The two of you were still huddled like a couple of weirdos under the heavy fabric, and the heat was getting suffocating. You two lifted his blanket over your heads and scooted back to his headboard. You were greeted by fresh, albeit vanilla-scented, air. It had been about an hour, and the candle burned lower. It was strangely intimate, you reflected, sitting alone at night in bed and talking about love.

"Does it still hurt?"

"For about a month, it hurt like hell. I broke up with her right after. I had to. And my confidence... was destroyed. Since then, I've mostly recovered. As a YouTuber, at least, I'm more confident than ever–the results speak for themselves."

Usually, you'd call him out on the boast, but this was Serious, and anyway, he did deserve that. "I've put a lot into sustaining my relationships with George and Sapnap and Bad, I've helped them a lot with YouTube, and I can talk to them about anything. I'm proud of that."

You nodded–that was all true. There was no doubt that Dream's popularity gave George, Sapnap, and Bad tremendous boosts whenever he appeared in their videos. And George had once brought up how Clay'd given them $5,000 and $500 and $500 respectively, simply as a thank-you gift. He was insanely generous–that was for sure. But there was an undercurrent of vulnerability in his voice. You wondered–

"–And with everyone I've met recently, I think I'm a decent friend. But as a boyfriend? It came out of nowhere. And... happy people don't cheat," he said softly.

Your heart fell. "Clay, you don't mean... you blame yourself, do you?"

His silence told you everything you needed to know.

You reached to your side and clamped a hand over his shoulder. You shook him, staring right into his eyes. The startling connection made you want to look away, but you had something important to say first.

"It's not your fault. It never has been."

He looked down. "I know."

"And you don't have to overwhelm people with generosity, material favors, and your time in order to deserve their love. You already do."