STRAY KIDS ONESHOTS/IMAGINES || OT8

perfect . felix

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genre: fluff, idol life au
a/n: FELIX APPRECIATION!! I feel that Felix has rly grown and improved so much in his work and he's such a pure talented angel who can even argue? Here's a little felix appreciation fic I decided to write cos he deserves so much more than the world <3 ALSO,,, if u have never cried over this boy's freckles. u have not experienced pain. 
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You heard the front door unlock, the sound of footsteps entering the house. You looked up from your phone to see a blonde-haired, tall but tired-looking boy close the door behind him, sighing as he arrived home. He caught your gaze, and smiled shakily at you, but his eyes looked as weary as they were troubled.

It was nearly midnight, but you ran up to your boyfriend, embracing his exhausted form. He melted into your arms, telling you not to wait up for him. Recently, Felix had been coming home looking more and more worn out, preparing for his next comeback. As an idol in a well-performing kpop group, he'd been faced with many struggles and insecurities, and even though three years of training had prepared him physically, mentally - he was human all the same.

~

His mind ran through the week's events, the rigorous physical training, the long practice hours. The upcoming comeback, the comments on social media. It was nothing new, but it hurt all the same. He splashed cold water on his face, washing off the thick layer of makeup covering his cheeks. The product washed off easily, revealing his golden-brown freckles under his eyes. No treatment, no skincare or cream would make them go away - no matter how many times he watched the fog clear from the mirror in front of him, the blemishes remained. It annoyed him - not being able to reach the beauty standards so demanded by his job. All his life, those freckles were considered imperfections, a parasite that needed to be taken care of, a patch of ugliness needed to be concealed.

No matter how he dieted, worked, trained - freckles just weren't something he could get rid of. And he couldn't accept it either. He thought about the fans, who saw only what was on the surface - having not revealed this blemish to them much. He thought about his members, other idols who'd struggled with self image - relatable, but it felt as if they'd never understand why he was so hung up over his freckles. And he thought about you - you'd seen both sides of him - the perfect, dream kpop idol, and the vulnerable, imperfect Felix. The true him. But would you continue to accept him, to love him for who he was - when the world could not? When he fully opened up and showed his raw feelings, his insecurities, his imperfections?

He wasn't sure.

~

It was one in the morning when you felt Felix slip under the covers beside you. You felt him try to be as light, as quiet as possible, so as to not wake you - but you were awake, thinking about him. You rolled over to your side to face him, shifting the duvet.

"I told you not to wait up for me," he wasn't looking at you, but his hand found yours, intertwining his fingers with your cold ones.

You snuggled closer to him, feeling his warm body against yours. You missed this feeling - he'd been so busy lately, sometimes he didn't even come home at all. " I can't sleep," you murmured, turning your face to look at him. It was dark, but once your eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting, you could make out your boyfriend's distinct features, his soft gaze, and his beautiful, natural freckles spotting his cheeks.

He held you, but buried his face in the pillows so that half of it was out of sight. You could tell he wasn't at ease, his thoughts clouded with worry. You could hear his heartbeat, a familiar rhythm, but yet so different from the happy, carefree boy you had fallen for. "Felix..." you placed a hand on his right cheek, tucking his center-parting bangs behind his ear.

"Don't look at me," he breathed, his voice soft but tinged with pain. Your heart broke - it wasn't the first time Felix had struggled with his self image, and he'd talked about it with you briefly before. But every time there was a certain twist to his insecurity, a darker, deeper anguish that you could feel in him, but not quite reach out to grasp. You wanted him to know he was loved, that no matter what he'd always be the most beautiful boy you'd ever met, inside and out. That he was amazing, talented, kind - the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. That he was perfect just the way he was.

But you were never good with words, so you continued to hold his broken self, comforting him with your presence- until he finally spoke. " Why did you fall for me, y/n?"

You smiled, remembering your days as a trainee. The both of you had trained together until he debuted with Stray Kids - and you'd left the industry to pursue a newfound dream. You remembered the time you did so badly for your monthly evaluation that you'd sat in the dance practice studio crying late into the night, losing every hope of debuting. Felix had sat with you, feeding you skittles to cheer you up. You remembered the time you couldn't lose weight and struggled with your body image, almost fainting after not eating for two days - Felix had been the one to encourage you to take care of yourself, dieting with you so you didn't have to journey alone. You remembered the time you'd fallen during group practice - Felix had extended his arm to you, helping you to your feet and looking at you with those beautiful eyes of his. You would keep falling, and he'd pick you up - but nothing could ever stop you from falling for him over and over again.

" Because you make me believe in myself, Lix... you make me have confidence in myself when everyone seems to be against me. That's what makes you beautiful - that's why i fell for you."

Felix finally faced you, wrapping his arms around you. " I feel like I'm not good enough, you know? You're one of the only people who see me bare-faced, not having to perform in front of cameras, to wear makeup to conceal my freckles. So many people tell me that freckles are blemishes, flaws that we aren't supposed to have as idols. I always feel that... I'll never meet standards - I'll never meet expectations. And what if the fans leave because of that? What if... you leave me?" his voice broke at the end, causing your heart to ache even further.

" I'll never do that, Lix. Never in my entire life. I... I love you because of who you are, not because of what you look like." you smiled up at him.

"... and for the record, your freckles are literally the cutest thing on earth." you blushed as Felix grinned for the first time that night, pulling you closer to him, feeling like his heart was about to explode.

Felix stroked your hair. " Go to sleep, it's late."

A warm smile spread across your face as you stared back at your boyfriend, taking in his pure, natural beauty. You secretly counted the freckles on his cheeks, something you'd been doing to fall asleep each night. It was something you could never complete, but it made your heart skip beats every time. 21, 22, 23... you felt your eyelids get heavier and heavier. 24, 25, 26... you saw Felix's eyes flutter shut, the sound of your breathing lulling him to sleep. It was the moments like these that were worth fighting, worth living for - and the both of you cherished it.

It was the imperfections that truly made you see the beauty in everything. And to you- that was perfect in itself.