Sesame Street: The Untold Tales

Consejería Para Parejas: Murray and Ovejita

It was a Tuesday evening. Bert and Ernie were watching old reruns of the Sopranos. They were on their third episode of the night when they heard a knock on the door. Bert and Ernie looked at each other knowingly. It was Murray and Ovejita. Bert and Murray were roommates in college, and then when Bert started dating Ernie, the three became friends. Their dynamic changed when Ovejita came into the picture. Soon, Murray was spending more time with Ovejita than ever. By their second week of dating, they were already in couple's counseling. 5 years and a separation and reconciliation later, they were still in marriage therapy every Tuesday.

"The door is always open," Ernie said, sighing because he knew what was about to happen.

The door burst open. Ovejita was taking a drag out of her cigarette, tapping her foot.

She coughed, "Hola Bert y Ernie."

"Hi."

Murray trudged into the doorway, looking verklempt and disheveled. He nodded at Bert and Ernie to say Hello.

"¡No puedo creer que le dijeras eso al nuevo terapeuta! ¡Ella no necesita saber todo sobre nuestras vidas!" Ovejita screeched.

"Oh, really? Then why the fuck are we going to her then? Just to pass the time? I don't think so! And besides, it's. her. job. Ovejita." Murray snapped.

Ovejita whined back,"¿Sabes qué, Murray? Creo que eres un cerdo sucio. ¿Cómo pensé siquiera que tendríamos un matrimonio feliz? ¡Debería haberme casado con ese guapo artista cuando tuve la oportunidad!" 

"That was ten years ago! And besides, he was already married!" 

Murray took off his tie and made way for Ernie and Bert's broom closet, while Ovejita extinguished her cigarette. Bert and Ernie exchanged glances, and Ernie patted Bert's hand, to keep Bert calm. 

"Oh fuck, why do they have to have sex here? They have a bigger apartment, and yet they choose to do it here. My question is why?" Whined Bert.

Ernie got up from the couch, "Oh, come on guys why do you both only come here just to screw around in the closet? And like please clean up, it's really disgusting when we have to do it."

It was too late, Ovejita closed the door behind Murray. Seconds later, they heard thuds against the closet wall, followed by unintelligible sounds. Bert and Murray turned up the television volume on high to block the sounds. 

45 minutes later, Ovejita and Murray emerged from the closet, with Ovejita's shirt on backward and Murray's hair in disarray. Ovejita looked like she was in a better mood as she took a cigarette out of the pack from her purse. Murray tired, but his furrowed eyebrows seemed to be at ease now. 

"What do you want to eat? Pizza?" Sounded Murray.

"Murray, te vas a poner gordo y feo si comes tanta pizza, deberías saberlo mejor," muttered Ovejita.

"Fine, but not that Whole Foods shit again."

They both walked out of the door without saying goodbye to Bert and Ernie. When the newly engaged couple made sure that Ovejita and was nowhere close. they both shouted:

"Not it!" And laughed on the sofa.

"Oh noooooo! Ernie you said it last! You have to clean the closet," Bert giggled.

"No, please, no! I did it last time! Remember! Please! Find some sympathy in that cold heart of yours," pleaded Ernie, but trying to hold in the giggles. 

Bert sighed, "Fine, you're lucky that you are cute, because you know I wouldn't do it for anyone else." He kissed Ernie's cheek and got out the disinfectants.