The Ruthless Female Alpha

CHAPTER 5

AUBREE'S POV

The past week I actually understood and experienced what the phrase 'time flies' means. The past week went by almost in a blur. It felt like it was fast-forwarded. But, the conclusion is that tomorrow is the big day. My birthday.

I go down as usual for my training. Dad has been quite happy after the 'rogue incident'. I have my breakfast but I just can't stop thinking about tomorrow. It is a big day for every wolf. You get your wolf and are eligible to find your mate. I am excited but scared too.

I am still taking my breakfast when I see my dad coming towards me. I look at the clock, nope, I am not late. Why is he here then?

"So, are you excited for tomorrow?" my dad asks me.

"Um, yes, I am." I say, after swallowing.

"Tomorrow, you are going to shift for the first time and it is going to hurt because your bones would be breaking to form the new shape of your body." I wince when he tells me about the pain.

"Don't worry, today I will teach you some breathing exercises so that you can control the pain and it does not get out of hands." He informs me.

I finish my breakfast and then he teaches me the breathing exercises. We practice them together. It felt like we were having a meditation session. I never thought my dad could do such calm things, but turns out he can.

We finish the exercises and I quickly go to meet Lucas. I definitely need to talk to someone. "Hello, my soon-to-be-adult friend." He says laughing.

"Well, you couldn't find a better name for me, could you?" I ask him sarcastically.

"Well, technically, I can like, how about sugar plum, jelly beans, apple pie, honey buns." He keep listing.

"Eww, can you get anymore horrible at nicknames?" I ask him, making a face.

He makes a face like he is thinking.

"No, don't answer that question. My mistake. I know you can think of more but please, stop listing them." I say, literally begging.

"Aww, you look so cute when you are begging." He says laughing.

"You know, you are the most irritating person ever." I tell him, smiling.

"But your favorite one, nonetheless." He says with a cheeky grin.

"So, tomorrow is the big day." He says excitedly.

"Well yes, Captain Obvious." I say, sighing.

"What? You don't look happy. I was literally jumping everywhere when my 18th birthday was near." He tells me, confused at my reaction.

"What if my mate doesn't like me?" I suddenly blurt out.

"He would be a dumbass, if he doesn't like you. Aubree, look at yourself, you are perfect. Anyone having you as their mate, would be lucky." He tells me and it looks genuine.

We talk a bit more and then I walk back home.

"Oh, sweetie, you are home. I want to talk to you." My mom says as I enter through the doorway.

"Uh, okay." I agree and sit next to her. What could the talk possibly be about? Oh god, I hope it's not about the birds and bees. That would be really awkward and embarassing.

"Tomorrow, you are turning 18, your dad will make sure that you are capable. And then, after that, he is thinking about making you the Alpha." She tells me and I look at her, my eyes wide. This is actually more scarier than the birds and bees. I definitely didn't see this coming.

"I want you to know that this pack is our home. We have to protect it. Every pack member is like a child to us. Always think about the pack before you take any decision." She tells me and I nod.

"Mom, I know about my brother." The words get out of my mouth before I could stop them. Why did I even mention it? I don't know how this thing suddenly came out of my mouth?

My mother's eyes go wide. I guess I look as shocked as her too.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask her.

"Yes honey." She approves but reluctantly.

"Did you ever thought…. Like did you ever feel that it would be…. You know if brother lived or like it would be good if I was at his place?" I ask, stuttering.

"Oh no, no honey, never. If your brother had lived, it would have been good. But you are here and you have proved to be the best daughter and I couldn't ask for more from you. I trust you. I trust you to run the pack, responsibly. I trust you with everything." She tells me, genuinely and I want to believe her and maybe, I do believe her.

"Thank you. I will go to my room now. I am a bit tired." I tell her and get up to leave.

"Honey, I like that you are taking care of yourself." She tells me, all of a sudden. I look at her confused.
 
"You have gained some weight. It looks good on you." She smiles. I nod and head to my room.

I lay down on my bed and try to sleep but my mother's voice echoes in my head. I stand up in front of the mirror. I have gained some weight but it doesn't look bad. My mother said that I gained weight and it looks good but all I can hear is fat. The horrific thoughts in my head just won't stop. I cover my ears in an attempt to stop the thoughts but they only get louder.

'You look bad.'

'Your mate would never like you.'

'You ate too much today.'

'Puke it out to be beautiful again.'

The thoughts were telling me to puke out everything I ate. I didn't want to do that but it was driving me crazy.

Soon, I find myself hunched over the toilet, tears streaming down my face, my fingers in my throat, pulling out the contents I had in my stomach.

I force myself to puke out everything I ate since the morning. I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth. I get out of the bathroom and have some water. I try to sleep and pretend that nothing happened.
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Question of the day:
Have anybody of you suffered with an eating disorder? What are your thoughts on recovery?
Please answer in comments, I will never judge you.