Some guidelines for reforming the home.✔

Forming The Household

1. Making a good choice when choosing wife.
  
And marry those among you who are single (i.e a man who has no wife and a women who has no husband) and (also marry) the saalihoon ( pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) salres and maidsevent (female slaves). If they be poor Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-sufficient for His creatures needs, All-knowing (about the state of the people).
                            (Al-Qur'aan 24:32)

The head of the household must select a righteous and suitable wife based on the following coditions described in various ahadeeth:
   A women may be married for four things: her wealth, her ancestry, her beauty or her religeon. Choose the one who is religeous, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e, may you prosper)! (Agreed upon).

This world is all temporary  coveniences, and the greatest joy in this life is a righteous wife.
                  (reported by muslim, 1468)

Let every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering tongue (remembering Allah) and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the hearafter.
(reported by Ahmed, 5/282, and al-Thirmidhi and Ibn Maajah)

According to another report: A righteous wife to help you with your wordly and religeous affairs is the best treasure anyone could have.
     (Reported by al Bayhaqi, saheeh                                       al-jaami, 4285)

Marry one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud before the other prophets of your great numbers on the day of Resurrections.
  (Reported by Ahmed, Saheeh al-Irwa 6/195)

I advice to marry a vergin, for their wombs are more fresh, thier mouths are more fresh and they are more pleased with little.
Accordindg to other report: and they are less likely to decieve.
(Reported by Ibn Maajah, Al-Silsilah al-saheeh, 623)

Just as a righteous wife is one of the four elements of happiness, so a bad wife is one of the four elements of misery, as it says in the saheeh hadeeth:
One of the elements of happiness is a righteous wife, who when you see feel pleased, when you are away, you feel that you can trust her with regards to herself and your property. And one of the elements of misery is a bad wife who when you see her, you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally, when you are away, you do not feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property.

  On the other hand, it is also essential to look at the situation of the propective husband who is proposing a marriage to the muslim women, and to agree to his proposal in accordance with the following conditions:

     The prophet (pbuh) said: If there comes to you with whose religion and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter (or sister, etc) to him, otherwise there will be fitnah and great corruption in the land.

All of the above must be achieved  through asking the right question, verifying facts gathering information and checking sources so that the home will not be corrupted or destroyed.

The righteous man and righteous woman together will build a righteous home, because the vegetation of the good land comes forth easily by the permission of its Lord, and that which is bad brings forth nothing but a little with difficulty.
                      (Al-Qur'aan 7:58)

2.Striving to guide one's wife.
 
If one's wife is righteous, this is a blessing indeed, and this is from the Bounty of Allah. If she is not the righteous, then it is the duty of the head of the household to strive to guide her. Any of the following scenarios may apply.

A man may marry a woman who is not righteous in the first place, because he himself is not religeous at the first, or he may have married her in the hope of guiding her, or under pressure from his relatives, for example. In these cases he must strive hard to guide her.A man must also realize from the outset that guidance comes from Allah, and that Allah is the one who reforms people.

There are various means of guiding or reforming ones wife, such as:

🔸Paying attention to correcting her worship of Allah in all its aspects, as will be discussed below:

🔸Striving to strengthen her imaan, such as: encouraging her to pray at night (qiyam al-layl), encouraging her to read Qur'aan encouraging her to memorize adhkar and remember the appropriate times and occasion for saying them, encouraging her to give charity encouraging her to read useful Islamic books that can increase knowledge and strengthen imaan and continuing to supply her with them.

🔸Choosing good, religeous friends for her with whom she can form ties of sisterhood and have good coversations and perposeful visits.
Protecting her from evil and blocking off all avenues for it to reach her, by keeping her away from bad companions and bad places.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.🌺