Some guidelines for reforming the home.✔

Meeting At Home.(l)

9.Creating opportunities for discussing family matters.

and who (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation.
                                 (Al-Qur'aan 42:38)
This is the time when the family members can sit together in a suitable place to talk about issues within and without the family that affect them.

This is a sign of strong ties, interaction and cooperation with the family. No doubt the man is the one whom Allah has appointed to be in charge of his flocksaffairs and he is promarily responsible and is the decision maker, but giving room to others to contribute especially when the children get older is good training for them to learn to bear responsibility as well as giving everyone the confidence of knowing that his or her opinion is valued where they are asked to express their points of veiw.

Families can discuss problems faced by themselves or relatives, and talk about how to solve them, and so  on. It is worth pointing out here that there is another important kind of family meeting, which is holding frank discussion between parents and children. Some of the problems of adolescence can only be solved by  one-on-one conversation between parents and children, where a father talks, calmly and quitely, with his son about matters that have to do with problems of youth and the islamic rulings pertaining to adolescence, and a mother talks to her daughter and tell her what she needs to know about islamic rulings and helps her solve the peoblems that she may face at this age.

The father or mother may open the discussion with words such as when I was of your age. This will have a great effect in making what they say acceptable to youngster. Lack of such frank discussions will force the children to talk to bad companions, which leads to so many other evils.

10.Not showing family conflicts in front of children.

It is rare people to live together under one roof without any arguments, but reconcilation is better and correcting oneself is a virtue.

What shakes the unity of the family and harms its infrastructure is when conflicts are brought out into the open before the members of the family, who then split into two or more opposing camps, not to mention the psychological harm that is done to childen, especially little ones.

Think about a home where the father says to child, Do not speak with mother, and mother says to him, Do not speak to your father. The child is confused and filled with turmoil, and the entire family lives in an atmosphere of hostility. We should try to avoid conflict, but if it happens, we should try to hide it. We ask Allah to create love between our hearts.

11.Not letting into the house anyone whose commitment to islam is not pleasing to you.

The Massenger of Allah (pbuh) said: The likeness of a bad companion is like the one who works bellows.
(Reported narrated by Imam Abu Dawood 4829)
According to a report narrated by Imam Bukhari, he said, the one who works the bellows will burn your house or your clothes, or you will smell a bad odour from him.
(Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath,4/323)

Indeed, he will burn your home with all kinds of corruption and evil. How often has the entry of corrupt and suspecious people into a home been the cause of enmity among the family members, or of division between husband and wife.

Allah curses the one who turns a wife against her husband, or husband against his wife, or causes enimity between a father and his children. This is how sihr (magic, witchcraft) is brought into peoples homes, why things are sometimes stolen, and why so often morals are corrupted: it is because a person whose commitment to islam is no good is admitted into the home. We must not let such people in even if they appear friendly.

Some people quiet out of embarrassment, and if they see such a person at the door they let them in, even though they know this is one of the corrupt people. In this matter, women bear a great deal of responsibility.