A God's Devoted Servant (NOT FOR KIDS)

Chapter 1: What's Up With Kami?

It was a nice day up on the lookout, there was a nice breeze blowing in from somewhere, the sun was shining bright, and it was just the definition of a perfect day. And what better day could there be than this to train for a fight against the Saiyans?

There was a gaggle of young dudes standing on Kami's lookout waiting for someone. These dudes were Krillin, Tien Shinhan, Yamcha, Chiaotzu and Yajirobe. A small figure made it's way out to the entrance of the lookout, trotting along to greet the Z Fighters with excitement. This figure was Mr.Popo, Kami's closest friend and the assistant diety to the Guardians of Earth in the past and the present. It's not everyday that someone makes their way up here, so he was excited to finally see some fresh faces on the lookout. Well, someone who wasn't Goku for once. A taller figure trailed along behind Mr.Popo, walking fast, like a pigeon just before it flies off when someone is like three inches away from it, walking like he didn't have any time for this bullshit, and who was this? A very frustrated Kami.

Now, compared to how he normally behaves, Kami was acting a bit weird. He was avoiding eye contact with people a lot, he was avoiding being touched, he frequently had to excuse himself for "reasons" and he was spending more time alone in his room than usual. Today was no exception since he was walking really fast (usually he walks slower) he was shaking a little bit, and his face was flushed. To top it all off he has a weird look in his eye.

Mr.Popo and Kami walked out of the lookout to greet the Z Fighters. "Welcome everyone..." the older Namekian said "You have all traveled far to come and train at my lookout. It's an honor to have you here..." he stumbled over his words. "A-Alas, since I've grown older, I won't be able to train you" Kami said with minor disappointment. "Instead, I'll leave you all to train under the guidance of my dearest friend, Mr.Popo" He said gesturing to the smaller entity. "He may not look like it, but he's quite the fighter! I have no doubt in my mind that he'll be more than capable of helping you prepare for your fight against the Saiyans. I'm going back inside. If you need me, you know where to find me." Before Kami made his way into the lookout, Popo grabbed him by the hand, stopping the Guardian dead in his tracks. "Wait, Kami! You've never skipped out on training like this! Are you feeling alright?" Kami jerked his hand away from Mr.Popo "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME." the Guardian yelled. Mr.Popo was caught totally off guard by this outburst, he never does this! Well, only when he's extremely aggravated, but he couldn't think of anything that could be bothering him.

"I-... S-Sorry, I-I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I'm..." he paused "I-I'm fine... You just worry about yourself. I'll be in the lookout if you need me. You know what to do." The Guardian turned his back towards Mr.Popo and the Z Fighters and started to walk back inside of the lookout.

The smaller deity sighed and looked towards the Z Fighters "Sorry about that, everyone. I think he might be having a bit of an off day... uh.. a-aright, let's get started!" he said with an excited smile. "Let's start off with some introductions! I'll go first, if that's ok. I'm Mr.Popo, I'm in charge of keeping the lookout clean, making it look nice, training those who come here and I'm also Kami's friend. I'll be the one training you for as long as you're here!" The demigod chirped "Now, are there any questions before we continue with the introductions?"

One of the Z Warriors raised his hand, it was Krillin. "Yes, you! I think I know you! Krillin, right?" Krillin nodded "Yep, that's me." "It's good to see you, again! Anyway, what's your question?" Popo asked. "Uh... ok well, uh... how do I say this...?" Suddenly, Yamcha interrupted "Forget it, I'll say it, what's up with Kami?" The former theif asked. "Huh? What do you mean?" Mr.Popo asked with a puzzled look on his face. Chiaotzu piped up "He was acting kinda weird. I wasn't the only one who noticed that right?" Tien followed up with "Yeah, I saw that too. Kami was acting a bit strange to say the least."

Mr.Popo's neutral expression shifted to one of concern. "Well... he has been acting a bit out of character recently, but I haven't payed much attention to it. I mean, I've noticed it, but I haven't bought it up with him yet. It's starting to worry me." His expression grew more concerned "For as long as I've known him, he's never acted this way. Sure, he's had his moments, but they were never this bad." He paused and thought for a second. "Oh dear, maybe something is bothering him... I wonder if it's something I did?"

Krillin looked at Mr.Popo with concern. "Well, there's only one way to find out. Maybe you should go talk to him?" He suggested. Mr.Popo thought for a bit. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to check up on him. Besides, we can just get on with training later in the day, anyway."

He looked up at the Z Fighters. "Alright, that settles it. I'll go look for him and try to ask him what's wrong. While I'm gone you can all go look around the lookout and try to familiarize yourself with the place. Be careful, and try not to break anything! I'll be back soon!" He shouted as he trotted off to find the elder Namekian.

Mr.Popo's footsteps echoed throughout the inside of the lookout as he searched for his friend. He wasn't in the kitchen, then again, Namekians mostly live on water, so why would he be in there in the first place? Then again, Namekians probably get hungry, too... wait a second, that's not what he should be focusing on right now!

"Alright, Popo." He thought to himself. "There's no need to get worked up already, he's probably fine. Don't panic, now isn't the time to panic over something this silly-"

Mr.Popo's train of thought was interrupted by a sound that echoed through the inside of the lookout. It's a pretty big place, so there's bound to be an echo in there. It sounded... hold up, is that Kami?

"A-Ah, M-Mister Popo..."

The round demigod perked his head up and looked around the building in concern. "Kami? Kami, is that you?" He questioned was answered with the sound of heavy breathing and the sound of his name escaping Kami's lips.

"O-Oh dear god... A-ah!! M-Mister Popo~ Ah, f-fuck!"

"OKAY, NOW WE PANIC." His mind screamed.

"Oh God that is Kami!" As if he were running for dear life, Mr.Popo bolted down the ball as he followed the sound of Kami's voice and rushed to find him. "Don't worry, Kami!! I'm a comin'!!"

Popo ran like the wind, it was like that one scene from Forrest Gump, y'know the one where's he's running from some other kids? That scene. Anyway, Popo was running to find Kami like his life depended on it. Mr.Popo finally found where the noise was coming from, which was Kami's room. He slammed open the door to Kami's room "Kami, are you alright?! I heard you calling me and I-" his sentence was cut off by the sound of Kami screaming bloody murder, not only because Mr.Popo scared the hell out of him, but also because of the embarrassing situation that unfolded before him.

Kami wasn't crying, nor was he in pain. Instead, he was lying in his bed, schlong in hand, hard as a rock, driven mad with lust.

In other, less fancy terms: Kami was masturbating.