The Hunt

Chapter 11 - Back In Business.

In my endless torment, I've seen white. Over a contestant cover of static and fate, there's a small thing called hope.

It feels like staring at a blank screen, or paper. Anywhere and everywhere I try to look I see white. Sometimes, some days, where I feel I may be better, I watch the white fade to black.

Slowly. For eternity.

I tried to keep mental tallies of how long I've been here, in this moment, exactly like this; empty. But I can't. Every day, I forget. It's an endless dream that I never remember.

I don't remember my thoughts yesterday, and I won't remember them tomorrow.

I worry about Raven, now. I wonder if she's okay. I wonder if I would ever get a chance to say a proper goodbye. Kyarra is not high on the priority list, but she's worked hard to keep us safe under her roof, and I value her for that.

I do enjoy her presence more than she thinks. Jacob just deserves a simple goodbye. He deserves a simple 'thank you for your time' because he treats Raven like she was sent from heaven because she brought him under Kya's roof.

What was I thinking about again?

Saying goodbyes to my friends when I'm stuck in a head scape of hell?

Illogical. There's too many things to say to those around me, and since I'm dead, I'll never get the chance to do it.

I'm aware enough to know I don't want to speak another word to Striker. He is a liar. A manipulator. I loathe him.

Blinking my eyes — I think — I begin seeing a new color. An entire new surrounding full of plain life and new beginning, but then it all goes back to white. I'm stressing, trying to understand if I'm delusional, or hopeful.

Everything happening all at once, I realize I am waking up. I'm seeing so many shades of blue and my heart is beating faster than before. Ash and soot is filling my nose, but I'm focusing on the more positive things I didn't even realize could be wherever I am.

Grass, water, fresh berries. The smell of rain on asphalt. Sound of cars, distant breeze. It's all filling my head with endless possibilities.

My body is tingling. Twitching. It feels like my body is sinking into the floor and I'm in denial that I'm actually awake. I forget how to breathe, how to speak and how to see.

Simple human knowledge is long gone. It's too quiet but somehow the heart-rate monitor in my room is so loud. I don't know what's going on. Lights are flashing and my head is aching.

I'm dizzy. The headache is draining me again and my hands don't feel like hands and the sheets of this medical bed are rough.

I'm having a seizure. My body is jerking. It feels like I am at the doctor and they're testing the reflex in my leg.

I don't remember the seizure stopping, but I'm now on two feet, holding bars and pillars for support. The walls are shrinking and the tables are moving and I can't focus.

"Come on, Claire." I slur to myself, hobbling to the stairs, I hold onto the wall for dear life, barely able to make it to the main floor.

From what I can see, it looks horrible. It's ruined. My eyes are groggy and they hurt from how much I've rubbed them.

I'm holding my chest for some reason but there's something rough on it. Clamping down against me and restricting lots of movement.