Oculus | J. Todd ✔

[24]

The red silk of her dress was almost peeled off when her eyes got caught by the trails of scars on his back. And though she had before felt the permanent creases on his callous skin, seeing the ripped surface made her pause for a moment, her fingers tentatively trailing down his back.

The scars were old but etched deep into his back, reminiscent of the crowbar that had struck his body several times, tearing apart each bone and joint into a bloodied mess. And though the Lazarus Pit had resurrected him, joining up his bones and sewing his skin together, the scars were still there as a constant reminder.

Bluish green connected with her azure irises and shortly after, his eyes shifted in panic as if he had just then realized something. She could see his scars by then and he had almost forgotten about it altogether.

But seeing the melancholic glimmer in her eyes, the question resting on the tip of her tongue and the fact that she might ask from him what he never wanted to answer made him retreat.

"What happened?" She took his face in between her palms gently, soft azure eyes looking at him in concern.

"I can't..." His heart was beating fast and his gaze was intense but he backed off as if suddenly scared of something, as if an unknown fear had gripped him and he could no longer focus on anything else.

"Jason, stop," she sat up, her hands reaching out to grab his arm in order to stop him from pulling away.

She didn't understand the sudden change in his mood and it made her get worried, thinking that perhaps she had stepped over a boundary and risked their relationship. As always, the fear of losing him crept into her heart despite her attempts to convince herself otherwise.

"I'm sorry," his voice was rather choked, as if something was suffocating him from the inside, "I... Not now... Please."

She let go of his arm at that as she was always rather understanding towards him. But her features were evident of concern and constantly she was thinking what she had done wrong. Evelyn had planned the whole evening extensively so that they could have quality time together but it seemed as if the conclusion to the night had gone horribly wrong.

Her eyes did not leave him for even a second but she kept silent, giving him space to either open up himself about his sudden reaction and even if he decided not to do that, she did not want him to feel pressurized.

And though she expected Jay to leave then and there for he was always abrupt, he stayed but not a single word passed through his lips. Still she waited for him to come to his decision and a few minutes passed in an awkward silence.

An apologetic sigh escaped Jason and he brought his eyes to meet her concerned gaze at last, the frantic blue irises flecked with green connecting with hers. "I don't want to recount it all again," he spoke up finally, "don't ask me how I got these scars."

"I won't," she breathed in a low voice, her hand reaching out to caress his face though she was a bit reluctant whether he would let her do so or not, but he didn't pull away then so her palm fitted across his sharp cheekbone gently. "But Jason, if you kept bottling it all up inside of you, I fear one day you would explode. It's difficult keeping such a lot in, sometimes you have to let go."

He considered her words before replying, "I don't want you to get worried on my account."

She shook her head, eyes glimmering in a soft sadness, "Jay, I thought by now you would know what it is like to love and to be loved by someone."

Confusion flickered on his face but he let her resume.

"What you never really understood, even though it's been a month since we have been together, is that there is an unconditional factor to every single thing we may do for one another."