Broken {Zarry Stylik}

Chapter 1

Zayn's POV
It was the last song of the night. The crowd had quieted down slightly, and were holding up their phones with their flashlights on, swaying them back and forth.

Louis starts singing the words to 'Right Now', as Niall softly played the guitar.

It took all I had to not completely break down on stage during our performance, and I was not about to now. Not after I held in the tears and sobs that so desperately wanted to leave my mouth.

I tried to keep my voice steady as I sang my parts, not daring to let it go out of tune.

As we finished up the song, we took a small bow at the front of the stage. I run ahead of the boys to get to the bathroom, where I would do my post performance ritual.

I ignored the lads calls from behind me as I quickly entered the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

As soon as the click of the lock was heard, I immediately let my body shake violently as the tears poured down my face, and sobs left my mouth in strained gasps for breath.

I slid down against the door, putting my head in my hands, tugging desperately at my damp locks as I struggled to get the dirty bathroom air into my lungs.

I rush to get the two bottles of pills from my jean pockets, opening the caps with shaking hands.

I pop one pill from each container into my dry mouth, before swallowing them quickly.

I return the bottles to my pocket and get up off of the floor.

I wipe my eyes with the sleeves of my leather jacket, and run the cold water of the small bathroom sink.

I splash water into my face with my still shaking hands, looking at myself in the mirror.

My eyes weren't as red as they usually were after I cried, but then again, this ritual only lasted around 5 minutes.

I shut off the water and try to slow down my breathing slightly.

After another minute of looking at myself in the mirror, I turn towards the door and unlock it, making my way over to the dressing rooms.

"You alright Mate?" I hear Liam say from where he's sitting on the small couch with Harry, Niall on the floor in front of Liam, who twirled Niall's Blonde hair around his fingers.

"Yeah, were you not able to take a shit or something? It doesn't take 5 minutes Zaynie." Louis says entering the room with a bag of baby carrots in hand.

"No, I was just washing my face. Trying to cool down." I say, walking past Louis and over to my small backpack, where my most important personal belongings were kept.

"I'm gonna head to the bus. I'm pretty tired." I lie, already making my way out of the dressing room.

"Night Zayn!" Harry calls after me.

"Night Harry!" I call back.

~~ time skip to in the tour bus ~~

I sit on my small bunk and sigh quite loudly.

I dig in my bag, pulling out a small pocket knife.

I pull up the left sleeve of my leather jacket, revealing many marks from where I've previously cut.

I hold the small blade over my skin, getting ready to make the first cut.

I look up as I hear voices, and I quickly throw the pocket knife back into my bag, pulling my sleeve back over my scarred wrist.

I get under the covers, not even bothering to change my clothes, before turning away from the door and closing my eyes.

Truth is, I didn't want to go to sleep. I rarely did. I would always wake up with nightmares, almost screaming and sobbing violently.

So I would pretend to sleep whenever I was with the lads. I didn't want them to see how broken I really was. How much I hated myself. How depressed I really am compared to the happy and bubbly me they always see.

I'm not happy at all. They should see me at home. Yaser basically beats me to death every day. It's a miracle that I'm still alive.

⚠️Next part contains abuse so don't read if that triggers you!!! ⚠️

Flashback
I whimper in pain as I'm pushed to the floor. I bring my hands in front of my face to try and stop him from hitting my face.

"MOVE YOUR FUCKING HANDS YOU BITCH!!" He yells, kicking me in the ribs a few times.

I take my hands away from my face and look up in fear as I see him holding a kitchen knife.

I whimper as I back up quickly. My back hits the wall and I look frantically around, trying to find a way to escape.

Before I can even think of a plan, I'm met with a searing pain in my lower stomach. I immediately place my hand where I felt the pain, and felt the warm blood against my shaking hands.

I whimper as I try not to think about the pain.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! ACT LIKE A FUCKING MAN AND GROW THE FUCK UP!!" He says as he jabs the knife right under my collar bone.

I held in a scream as I glued my eyes shut, trying to get rid of the pain by not thinking about it.

"YOUR SO FUCKING WORTHLESS YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING YOU!!"

I flinch at his words.

He grabs my shirt and lifts me up, pushing me against the wall, holding me there with his left arm.

He lifts up my shirt, placing the cold metal of the knife against my hip bone.

He starts carving letters, an evil grin plastered on his face.

I clench my fists as I try and keep quiet, not wanting to have a more severe punishment.

He looks back up at me, and I feel another sharp pain in my lower abdomen, before I'm once again shoved to the ground, where I hit my head on the hard wood floor.

He spits beside me before he goes back to his room, grabbing another case of beer on his way there, and dropping the knife in the sink.

I look down at my hip bone, wincing as I see what he wrote.

'Worthless'.

End of Flashback

⚠️Abuse over!!! Continue reading here!!

I quickly shoot up in bed, panting heavily as sweat dropped slowly down my forehead.

"Fucking hell" I whisper, grabbing my phone and checking he time.

3:38 Am

I groan quietly, laying back down.

I didn't want to go back to sleep, but I needed the rest.

I hesitantly close my eyes, falling quickly into a dreamless sleep.

Hello everyone!!! So this is mine and Michelle's (@hazzaxmedicine ) first story together!!

This chapter was made by me, and I hope you enjoyed it! Please Vote comment and maybe even follow both of us! It would mean a lot!

Anyways have a great day and stay tuned for the next part which should be up soon!!!

-Emma