You're Pretty Dumb For A Smart Guy [KamiDeku]

12.

Hey new journal,

Am I okay? I thought I was but everyone has such normal lives that I just... can't relate to. They have loving and in love parents, some have siblings, happily living their lives and reminiscing on fun childhoods. I feel left out.

I barely know my father and my mother doesn't do anything for me aside from keeping me from starving or being out on the street. I was an accident so they're obviously not gonna have even more kids when they didn't want me in the first place. My childhood was just stress and neglect and nothing good and I only feel good at school. Even then, at school I have to think, use my brain, which I've never been good at, and my quirk which is painful and just makes using my brain harder. I feel abnormal and acting like I'm not makes me sick.

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H¡
Mom hit me. Like, really hit me.

That's never happened before. She's spanked me for misbehaving or not doing as I'm told and that's all fine but never really hit me. Hard, back handed across the face, her wedding ring slashing my cheek. I bleed. I don't know how to feel. I think what I just had was a panic attack but I don't really know or care, let's just hope this doesn't happen again. I don't know how to deal with it and frankly? I don't want to have to.

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Diary,

I think I was just about to be murdered.

There was this guy and he had a weird thing on his head and he asked about my quirk and he said something about taking it. Taking my quirk or my life? It doesn't really matter. He left me alone after I said stuff about the side effects and it's like I just narrowly avoided dying.

He was so calm and light hearted but inexplicably terrifying for seemingly no reason. I felt like I was in a lot of danger yet he seemed to mean no harm. It was such a confusing interaction I don't know how to feel. I'm shaking but.... I kinda want to see him again. Just to see what would happen if he decided to do something

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Journal,

I know I shouldn't be GLAD that my mom isn't on good terms with my aunt and grandparents but that just means I spend the holidays without her and I'm a little guilty over how grateful I am about it.

She doesn't really care that I'm not spending Christmas with her but that's not surprising. With me out of the house, he easier it is for her to bring guys home and she doesn't have to feed me. It benefits me too since Oma and Papa actually care about me and Aunt Sonomi is never hesitant to pinch my cheeks and get me to help her with baking.

I wanna ask them if they'd let me stay with them but I don't want to be a burden. Auntie is already living with them and they don't need another person to keep track of.

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FAILED SUICIDES PAGE 2
(1st page in other journal)

Goodness, I probably try too often, I wonder what I'm doing wrong, why can I never succeed?

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Uhhhh, hey?

I'm sorry I'm just really confused.

I was talking to Kirishima and I think I'm not.... straight?? Idk? if you asked anyone they'd probably tell you the definitely straight kids of the class were me and mineta, the ones always flirting with girls. Well, I like to call what I do flirting, with mineta it's just blatant harassment, but that's besides the point.

I've never really thought about exploring my sexuality since I was so certain that I didn't need to, I'm into chicks and that's it. Now I not so sure. In middle school everyone was very straight and hated everything that wasn't bad I kinda just fit in. I never hated it myself, love whoever you want and stuff, but I definitely never looked at guys in any attractive or romantic light.

But now, oh god.

I won't be the first to admit the guys at my old school were butt ugly, and I'm not too much better but I like to think my looks are one of the only things I've got going for me. At UA though, holy shit.

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Hey diary, don't mind me, just continuing from the other page

Ok, like, Todoroki is the most attractive man I've ever seen. I didn't know you could be hot and pretty at the same time, jeez louise. Oh, and Bakugou isn't too bad on they eyes either when he's not making those ugly faces. Kirishima if fucking RIPPED thoo (do you think I should ask if he could bench press me?)

Alright, that's not entirely fair since most of the guys in our class are jacked to some capacity. Like, Midoriya? Sure, he's got a cute roundish face and eyes with freckles and UGH! He's already attractive normally but then he has to be, like, HERCULEAN at the same time!?!?!?! How tf is that fair. Anyway, I think it's pretty safe to assume I'm pretty Bi now.

This is my coming out post (even though no ones probably gonna read this)

I'm trying really hard not to think how much anal can hurt

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Midoriya probably spent a little too long on each page but especially the third and fifth ones. The fifth one because holy s h i t, Kaminari had tried to kill himself well over seventeen times and that was very concerning. The third one because Kaminari had potentially had a run in with one of the worst villains in the world All for One and wasn't onehundred percent set on never seeing him again. Just as Izuku had composed himself enough that he felt he could continue reading, there was a knock at his door.

Midoriya glanced at is alarm clock on his bedside table and was shocked to see it was already six o'clock. He had spent roughly four hours overthinking the contents of Denki's diary and barely made it 7 pages in. Izuku quickly tucked the journal back into his drawer and got up to check who was at his door.

'I really can't be left alone today, can I?' He thought to himself exasperatedly as he swung the door open to reveal-

"Yaoyorozu! Jirou!" Izuku exclaimed in surprise at who was there. "What brings you around?" He asked.

"Ah, well, Kyoka and I were going to Mina's room a little early for our sleep over, we wanted to see if you wanted to come as well," Yaoyorozu explained herself quickly.

"Oh! Okay, sure, I'll head over in just a minute," Midoriya said, nodding along.

"Alright!" Yaoyorozu cheared, clapping her hands together happily.

"Ash was real adamant that we have the gossip session as soon as possible," Jirou said laxly, leaning against the doorframe. "Apparently you've got something juicy for us?" She asked.

"Jirou..." Yaoyorozu warned but Izuku just laughed.

"Sorry Jirou," He apologized. "But if Ashido has to wait, then you do too, she doesn't know anything more then you do,"

Kyoka looked at him skeptically, as if unconvinced, but sighed and shrugged. "Oh alright, see you in a bit," she said, turning around to leave.

"Oh- uh, see you!" Yaomomo said, sounding slightly panicked at the other leaving suddenly and quickly following after her.