Crush x Reader

off the table 😒

Will I ever love the same way again?

I think to myself as I look through my apartment window sorrowly.

Will I ever love somebody like the way I did you?

C/n was so special to me.

And losing him was like losing a part of myself.

Never thought you'd be so damn hard to replace.

But I did, no one treated me the way C/n treated me.

He was trustworthy, loyal, caring.

The whole package.

But the world had different plans for us.

I moved away to pursue my career and C/n didn't want to make the sacrifice to move with me.

Which is understandable his mom needs him.

I just wished he didn't let me go.

Not ever.

I swear I don't mean to be this way.

It's just hard to not miss who you thought was the love of your life.

Your soulmate.

The one God put on this Earth just for you and you only.

If I can't have you, is love completely off the table?

Are we over?

Like we're never getting back together?

What if he's met someone else?

He hasn't called or texted.

Am I the one in the wrong?

Do I sit this one out and wait for the next life?

Am I too cold? Am I not nice?

I sigh.

I just have so many questions, questions I can't answer.

I let my head bow down, my forehead slightly touching the window.

Might not be quite yet healed or ready.

Am I doing this wrong?

Should I put myself out there, go on dates?

Should I be goin' too steady?

That sounds nice and all.

Going on dates but I think I'm scared to love again.

I'm young and over emotional.

But can I be blamed?

I spent all of high school with C/n, he was my high school sweetheart.

I thought we were gonna make it.

A lot of people thought we would.

My parents, B/f/n, C/b/f/n his mom, c/sib/n even my grandma.

But I just wanna know is love completely off the table?

Should I call him just to clear my mind?

No, no.

That'd be wrong.

Just leave him alone.

I slump up, this is pathetic.

Ugh, this is gonna be a long day!

I throw myself on my bed.

"Ughhh!"

Will you be there?

Can I still love you?

Not yet healed or ready.