Falling for Billie Eilish

4. the feeling

Billie's POV

The feeling. He made me feel worthless but there was a new me in there. It's only the next day and I don't feel any better. 

It was really late last night so I just went to my bed. Drew and Isa felt sorry for me. They came into my room and spent the night with me. It was nice and calm. 

They were talking to me and telling me I was worth it and he didn't deserve me. There was always a part of me that hated him but what could I do. 

I spent a lot of my time trying to figure out where I went wrong. Where I went wrong in finding the right person. He seemed so sweet the first time we met. 

And truth be told, this relationship was forced. There was no love. It was an act. I figured he was using me in one way or another. 

I had a lot more than him in so many ways which made me pretty sure he was using me. I appreciated everything I had/have and I guess didn't.

 We would constantly argue. Everything kept getting worse as the days went down. Our whole staged relationship went downhill. There were some shippers. 

Many of my fans didn't like Que. Maybe they knew something was off. Or they felt bad about him. Maybe it was our age difference. 

I never really knew. We kept the relationship a secret for as long as possible because it was fake. I guess when your fans are a bunch of Sherlock's... nothing's a secret. 

Some of them believed we were friends and some of them believed we were more. And some of them were determined we were together. 

It's hilarious watching their theories. They are the cutest humans ever. I was already planning on leaving Twitter for a while then. I was trying to figure everything out.

 People are hating on me for what? For my body? Bich you don't even what my body looks like how tf you gon hate on me for my body. 

I was getting lost in my thoughts. Then I realized Drew and Isa were tryna get my attention. I was zoned out for a while. It was 2 am. I'm in my own world.

 Drew is half asleep on my legs. Isa is doing her own thing. She looked worried. Something was wrong but I didn't know what.

 I could tell she could really talk to someone right now. But when I called her name she turned her head to me instantly with a smile. 

She didn't realize I saw her face beforehand. I asked her if she was okay but she wasn't giving me much info to work with here.

"Isa?"

"..........."

"IIIISA" 

"huh oh uh HEY BIL"

"what you up to?"

" oh um nothing" 

"...you sure?"

" um yea"

There was definitely something going on in Isa's head. She wasn't opening up. I didn't feel like bothering her about it if she wasn't willing to do so.

 Drew was fully asleep. Isa kept smiling at me and comforting me. I was okay, at least I think I was. But I was getting really worried about Isa. 

It looked like she was being torn inside. I felt bad for her. There was nothing that I could do. 

Right now I just want a break from the world. I just want to spend time with Isa and Drew. I need to work on myself. 

Isa's POV