Distance

My cute little sunshine 2

To my dear cute little sunshine

My heart is aching so much, feels like someone shattered my heart into a billion little pieces
I miss you so much, words couldn't even explain.
During the day I mostly manage to stay strong, don't even dare to look at any picture of you though. But when the nights hit, I'm alone in the dark, that's when I finally break. I look at old pictures and videos of you. Those big brown eyes staring right at me, all those memories flashing before me, taking me back to when you were still in my arms, and I could hold you so tight. How I wish I could go back and hold onto you just one more time. Hopefully you are happy and safe at your new home, but most of all I hope you are loved..but then again, how could they not. I'm sure your new family already love you deeply, just like I do. Those big brown eyes, your adorable little smile, your laugh that can turn into a little moan and back into a laugh so easily, your cute little curly hair, and especially that sunshine personality of yours: There is no way anybody can't love you because of that. You just bring happiness and smiles everywhere you go, and to everyone you meet. And knowing you are happy, safe and loved is what will make me come out of this okay, maybe not now, but with time my heart will slowly but surely begin to heal again. I love you my cute little sunshine, and I miss you every moment of every day. I wish I could have made you mine and watch you grow up, but I had to let you go. I hope you are happy where you are. And even though you will already have forgotten about me in a month or two, I will never forget you. I will even celebrate every single of your birthdays with you, thinking about you and wishing I could be there to see how big you've grown. You will forever be my cute little sunshine.

~Dedicated to my little baby boy I couldn't keep~