Targets (bwwm) *Completed*

Fifty Five

"Winston..." the trembling name was all she could muster as she stared down at him in bewilderment. Omisha knew he was the man she would marry one day but was that day this soon? Part of her knew their love had carried them this far but the real part of her questioned her readiness.

"This is usually when you say yes." He chuckled lightly but Omisha could see the worry in his eyes. Looking down, she placed her hand to her heart when she noticed it was the ring he'd originally given to her.

"Winston..." she called once more as bile rose into her throat. "I love you, but-"

"But what?" Getting up, he closed to box softly and peered down at her for an answer. Omisha knew he was probably thinking the worse but in reality she knew she was just doubting herself.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, "I love you so much but I'm not used to all this."

"And you think I am?" The sharp tone of his reply let her know this would soon spiral into an argument if she didn't do some damage control.

"Winston, I love you and I want to- no, I will- marry you some day, but that day just isn't today. I need you to be understanding of that right now. I'm so sorry for hurting you." Tears welled up in her eyes and she bit her lip to keep them from spilling over.

Winston's hard gaze softened at her words, but she could see the disappointment that filled his eyes anyway. It killed her to hurt him in any way but she had to put herself first. There was no use going into a marriage if she wasn't 100% sure.

"Okay, okay. So not a no, just a maybe later?" Although he tried to remain in good spirits, his jaw flexed and his hands balled at his sides.

"Wins-"

"It's fine, come on." Grabbing her hand softly, he pulled her along towards the car. The silence between them was thick as he opened the door for her. A deep ache nestled into her rib cage as she noticed him roughly swipe at his eyes once he'd began making his way to the drivers side.

"Baby, look at me." Reaching over, she placed her hand under his chin to pull his face towards hers. The softness in her tone was offset by the loud clearing of his throat before his eyes met hers.

They'd already began becoming glossy with tears once more. It killed her to see a man like Winston cry especially with her being the cause.

"I love you. We've been through hell and back together. There is no one, not one soul, on this planet that could ever take your overwhelming place in my heart. I cannot accept your proposal until I am content with myself as it would be unfair to both of us to enter something as big as a marriage without certainty. This is not a testament of my love for you, Winston." She spoke clearly, making sure his eyes remained on hers.

"Yeah, yeah I know." He nodded out of her grasp, once more clearing his throat harshly. "I just....never mind."

"You can tell me how you feel. I won't be upset." Rubbing his arm, Omisha didn't push it further considering how closed off she knew he was. They seldom spoke on their feelings as it was territory foreign to them both.

"It's nothing." His jaw flexed once more with the familiar look of strain on his face.

"Winston," she reached over to stop his hand from turning the car on, "you don't have to be tough with me."

The weight of her words sat deeply on his shoulders. His head hung for a second before he turned to look at her. Omisha felt her heart break as the tears silently raced down his face. Like usual, she allowed him to set the pace- her hand remained on his, only using her thumb to stroke the top.

"You....fuck," he growled out as he held his head back to allow the tears to fall down the side of his face. It was heartwarming to know he felt comfortable enough to be this vulnerable with her.

"You make me feel safe." The confession was followed by the release of a breath. "And that scares me because... I've always been on my own. I've always been the strong one, the protector, but I don't have to be that when you're around."

Omisha fought her own tears as she allowed him the time to vent. A tremble set itself on his lips and he bit them as more tears fell.

"And even now, look at us. God I'm fucking balling my eyes out like a bitch and you make me feel strong for it. I've never felt more validated than when I'm with you." Winston's red eyes finally made contact with hers. By now, the tears had escaped towards her chin.

Her eyes closed as he reached over to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Warm hands held her face and she opened them to find him staring down at her. It felt as if time had stopped just for them. There was no love stronger than the love she felt in that moment.

"I love you." He whispered softly as his thumbs stroked her cheeks.

"I love you, Winston McKinley."
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