positions (ariana/you)

off the table

Word count: 3,400

⚠️ TW: death, bad thoughts ⚠️

!¡! this is genuinely a very depressing imagine. these are what i'm best at so please don't leave any hate comments. !¡!

////////////////////////////////////////////////

track five: off the table

////////////////////////////////////////////////

❝ you will never truly be gone
i will hold you safe in
my heart forever. ❞

MELISSA BRAY

////////////////////////////////////////////////

Will I ever love the same way again? (Way again)
Will I ever love somebody like the way I did you?

Ariana's POV

It had been six months since I last spoke to her. I didn't think much about her if I'm being honest. Pete had consumed most of my time and Sweetener had the other part of it. I also didn't think much about her because I knew she'd always be here. Well I guess I thought she would. I knew deep down I was still in love with her, I always had been. I didn't want to face the facts. She had tried so hard for me and I had given up on her.

I just broke up with Pete. It's crazy how your life can change in a matter of seconds. Mine did. I had a feeling that she would always be there at my concerts, front row, ready to cheer me on. I wish she still could be. I didn't want to open social media, I knew the blame factor would be placed on me. She sent me a text last night. I didn't read it, instead I quickly deleted it. I didn't want her begging for me and Pete seeing it. I wish I could go back in time and see what that message was about... maybe I could have saved her, maybe she just needed someone to be with her, maybe she was waiting for me. I'll never know.

I loved her more than any other human loved another. She would forever roam around in my heart. Nobody would ever replace her in such a way. They couldn't.

Deep down I knew she was hurt by my engagement. She faked happy interviews, happy paparazzi moments, and happy congratulations, but I knew.

When we had broken up, I told her I would wait for her. I would wait for her to learn to love herself. I told her we were just taking a small break and we would be back together in the matter of a couple months. We continued to talk to each other for a few weeks but then I started dating Pete. I remember telling her he was just a little fling until she was ready again. The little fling kept getting bigger and bigger until it was an engagement. I still don't know why I accepted it, maybe my mind was convinced she would never be ready and Pete was nice to me. I knew I should have waited. Yet I did not. So here I sat in my bed calling her for the three-hundredth time tonight. Hearing the voicemail we had recorded together, knowing that I was never going to hear her voice again.

Because Y/N was dead.

Never thought you'd be so damn hard to replace
I swear I don't mean to be this way

My friends kept trying to pressure me out of the house and my mangers were pressuring me to post about her death because they were scared that I'd fall off the deep end and my career would flop. I knew I'd need to speak about it, or maybe I could just go completely silent, end my career like this. I didn't want to be here anymore. this was too much for me to handle. Why did she have to leave now? Right as I'm out of therapy and feeling happy.