christmas eve

o n e

I pulled aside the white curtain in my dorm room and looked outside. It was dark.

Masses of snow were fallen down onto the ground, covering the grey cement in white. I pressed my lips together and held my phone against my ear with my shoulder. The voice on the other end of the line sounded worried, an etch of blame drawing their voice sharper.

"What the hell are you going to do, Holly? Oh, god, do you even have enough food?"

I sat down on the window bench and leaned my back against the wall. I was sitting sideways to the window, watching as the snowflakes just continued falling. I knew this white storm wouldn't stop any time now. The news had said so.

"I don't know, mom," I answered as I started to gnaw on my lip. It took all in me not to start biting my nails. It was a bad habit of mine whenever I was nervous, and if I started again, I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop.

"What do you mean 'you don't know?′ Have you checked if there is someone there that can help you?" I could almost see her pacing around our small apartment back home. I swear I would probably be able to see the trail of her footsteps whenever I finally made it home.

If I ever would.

It did not seem like the snow would stop anytime soon.

"The corridors are quiet. I think I'm the last one."

There was silence on the other end. I grabbed the phone with my left hand and switched it to my left ear. Leaning my head against the cold window, I sighed. Even with the cold around me, I could feel her flaming anger from here.

"Mom?"

There were only angered voices on the other line. I waited and rolled my eyes when Arthur raised his voice. Now, they were arguing again. This was all I needed right now... I had waited for the twenty-first to leave because I wanted to avoid all their arguing.

And now, I could listen to it over the phone. How great.

"I told you she would find a way to just not come! Why didn't you just let me get her?"

"Oh, now you're making this about me? How was I supposed to know that a fucking storm would come?"

I sighed again and shook my head.

This would continue on for some time. It could take minutes or even hours.

I lifted my phone from my ear and hung up. I laid it down next to me after I had put it into flight mode. There was no decent reception anyway, but I didn't want another surprise. To my luck, my mother would find a fax machine to somehow contact me again.

But, they would forget about me, anyway, for now.

I had never understood why they were even married.

Sure, maybe they had loved each other when I was too young to even remember, but that didn't explain why they were together now. I could remember years of constant fighting and screaming. They had never kissed or held hands when I saw them together either.

They had never even tried to act like other parents back in high school. Other families had been broken too, but at least they tried to appear as if everything was fine. They had done it for their children, but I had been able to see every uncomfortable touch.

My stomach grumbled. I closed my eyes. It seemed like it was finally time for me to see if there was some food left. I would be fucked if there wasn't. Sure, I had the packages of chocolate bars and water bottles I had stolen from the cafeteria some time ago, but they wouldn't last long. If I wanted to come out of this, I needed more.