Us.

Chapter 2 / part 1 -

Alexes POV!

...

*phone vibrating*

I've been waiting for too long and this might not be Matt. Besides he sends a lot of texts at once so this might not be him.

I'm too tired to even get my phone and look at the message. I just stare at the phone and do nothing. I cross my arms and cover my head and lay in my bed in silence.

But the urge of checking my phone is killing me.
I get up and to my surprise it's Matt.
I don't get excited as I usually do, instead I stare at the message and do nothing. I want to tell him so many things but can't choose what..
These feelings towards him seem unreal but yet, true?
I've lost my appetite..just the thought of not seeing him hurts..

Is this what being in love feels like?
-"Are you serious?!"- I scold myself.
I can't be in love with him, it would ruin everything.

"Well at least you should write him back"- my conciousness reminds me.

*Hey you* SEND!

*phone vibrates*

-"That was fast!"- I say and look at his message..

*Miss you..*

I curl up and start to tear up, what am I gonna do with him, what is he doing to me?
Without thinking twice I call him.

He picks up at the second ring.

-"Ciao principessa!"
That voice, gives me life..calms my whole existence..
-"He-ey.."- I try not to show that I'm crying but I end up failing after all.
-"Lex?"- I know that sound, he sounds concerned.
-"Yeah, I'm here.."- I say while I sit up on my bed, wiping my tears off my cheeks.
-"I know you're there, but are you really there? What's wrong?"
-"Oh nothing, I'm okay.."
-"Alex."-he says in a demanding voice, ugh I hate it when he says my name like that, since when did he start calling me by my full name?
-"I said I'm fine! I'm just going throught some stuff!" - as soon as the words come out of my mouth I question myself with what I just said.
-"Well I don't recall us becoming strangers so what type of stuff you talking about?"
Why is he sounding so serious all of a sudden?
-"Why are you like this? First you tell me you miss me and now you become cold all of a sudden I don't understand!"- great I'm crying again.
-"I'm not cold, I wanna know what is wrong with you, but if you don't want to tell me then fine. And yes I miss your stupid ass. I'm just trying to help you but you had to ruin it with your attitude!"
-"My attitude?"
-"Yes your attitude! And stop crying for Christs sake, you're making my heart ache!"
As soon as I listen to his last words I can't help but cry..
-"I miss you too! It's killing me. I can't eat, nor drink, because all I think about is you!"- I can't believe that I said those things, I just want the universe to delete me permanently.
....
There's silence..
-"Well say something?" - I tell him..
..
-"I know.."- he says and I catch my breath while curling up and listening to the silence on the other side..
-"I can feel it Lex..I can feel that you miss me..because I miss you as much!"

I've never felt like this before, but all I know is that this strong and deep feeling that I'm experiencing..I don't want it to end..

This. The silence.
The peace that comes from it..I can't describe it.
Even though I'm not close to him physically, I still feel him close strongly.
It amazes me how someone can make you feel this way..make you feel safe just by listening to their voice.
The silence on the other hand, just knowing that they are there, makes you  feel calm..

-"Can I see you?"- I say while crossing my fingers at the same time.
-"Soon..I promise."- he says and hangs up.

That was odd, he never hangs up that way..
I wish he was at home, so I could go see him. He's just a few blocks away..
But now it seems like he's so far away that I can't even fix myself.
He's always been around, and showed up everywhere.
It's his fault for me being this way..

I close my eyes, and want to dream again, the dream where I felt him so close to me. It felt so real I can't shake my head off of it ..

-"Make me dream again Matt..keep me close again..please.."- I say and try to imagine a world with me and him in it.