Ecstasy of the Heart

XLV

#EOTHOverAndOverAgain

Chapter Writer: cie_writes
Editor: riyanejoy
Proofreader: reallymargarett101

Sorry for the grammatical errors and misspelled words. Thank you, enjoy reading!

-

REGINE.

"Ate..." saktong paglabas ko ng kwarto ni Maxie ay patungo naman roon si Ate Sharon.

"Sige na, lumakad ka na't nang magkalinawan na kayong dalawa. Mag-ingat ka." napangiti na lamang ako at tumakbo na palabas ng bahay. Agad-agad kong pinaharurot ang sasakyan sa madilim na daan ng village.

I snatched my phone inside my pocket and checked on the address that he sent me. Doon pala kami magkikita sa luma nilang bahay, kung saan halos nagsimula ang lahat. Hindi pa man ako nakakalayo ay inihinto ko ang sasakyan sa tabing daan. Is this really the right thing to do? Kailangan pa ba naming magkaroon ng ganitong senaryo para sa ikatatahimik ng loob ko? Well, I guess so. Dahil kahit anong pigil ng utak kong ituloy ang pagkikitang ito, nananaig pa rin ang sigaw nitong nasa dibdib ko. Napabuntong-hininga na lamang ako sa mga ideyang pumapasok sa isip ko.

Ilang ikot pa ng manibela at narating ko na rin ang destinasyon ko. Mula rito sa labas ng lumang bahay, tanaw ko na si Ariel na naghihintay sa akin sa pintuan. Like Maxie, in my eyes, he is just so perfect. Bahagya akong nahinto sa kinatatayuan ko at hindi ko namalayang nasa harapan ko na pala sya.

"H-hi." I stuttered. Ano nang nangyari sa tapang at sungit ko kanina sa ospital? Bakit para na naman akong lumalambot ng unti-unti?

"Pasok na tayo sa loob, masyado nang gabi at mahamog na rito sa labas. Baka ikaw naman ang magkasakit." he was smiling as he utter those. Inilapag nya ang kanyang palad sa bumbunan ko at sabay kaming tumakbo papasok ng bahay. "Pasensya na, medyo maalikabok. I actually visited here just now so hindi ko na nagawang maglinis." paumanhin nya. Ngumiti lang ako at inilibot ang paningin sa buong bahay.

"Walang masyadong bago, ano? Ganun pa rin katulad ng dati." mahinahon kong sabi. Ramdam ko ang mga titig sa akin ni Ariel kahit pa isang hakbang ang pagitan naming dalawa.

"Hindi rin." he answered that made me look at him, confused. "Kung walang nagbago, sana ganon pa rin tayo gaya ng dati." the moment he altered his head to my direction, agad kong iniwas ang mga tingin nyang iyon. Words are scattered inside my head that I don't even know what and how should I converse since I insisted this discourse.

I faked a cough and stepped my one foot away from him. The atmosphere's starting to get awkward.

"Anyway, what's with this meet up? Is it about Maxie? The case? Or... us?" nag-aalangang tanong ni Ariel. We both made ourselves comfortable at pareho na kaming naupo sa bar stool ng kitchen counter. Pasimple kong inilapag ang mga gamit na bitbit ko sa counter top bago kami tumuloy sa pag-uusap.

"Lahat. Gusto kong pag-usapan natin lahat." I guess I became too straightforward and Ariel was quickly overwhelmed to the fact that I am personally insisting this conversation. Parang kailan lang ay iniiwasan kong mapag-usapan namin ang mga bagay na iyon kahit pa matagal na dapat namin itong naayos.

"Anong gusto mong unahin?" he muttered as he poured the red wine on my goblet.

"Si Maxie." walang pag-aalinlangan kong sagot. Napahinto sya sa ginagawa at seryosong tumingin sa akin. "Alam nya na lahat. She knew that his Tito Ariel is her biological father. Kaya nga siguro magaan na ang loob nyo sa isa't isa noon pa man. She knew that her Mommy denied her and lied to her in the past five years of her existence. Biruin mo, limang taon lang yung anak natin pero she figured out all those shits by herself?" I bitterly laughed and sipped my wine. Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ni Ariel. "At kung tatanungin mo ako kung paano? Hindi ko rin alam. Matalino yung bata, Ye. Maybe because of the child's curiosity kaya hinanap nya na lang yung iilang mahahalagang bahagi ng buhay nya tsaka nya pinagdugtong-dugtong ang mga iyon. It's like finding the missing pieces of a thousand-piece puzzle." I further explained to the simplest way that I can.

"Ngayon pa lang, I'm proud of the kid that she became. It's never easy to grow up and only have her Mama Sharon beside her. I can never imagine how hard it was for Maxie. She's too young to bear all these." he was already teary eyed as we talk about how our child explored life even without us by her side. "Can I ask you something?" I looked at him and he was blankly staring to his goblet.

"Hmm..."

"Bakit hindi mo sakin sinabi noon na buntis ka? Why did you hid Maxie from me?" I knew he'll ask me this.

"Because the grudge and the all the pain that you left me scarred all throughout my being. Kaya nga siguro namanhid ang buong pagkatao ko." I truthfully answered, without any hesitations. "Ang nasa isip ko lang noon, hindi ka namin kailangan ng anak mo, na kaya ko syang buhayin ng hindi humihingi ng kahit na ano sayo. Nung umalis ka, I was so messed up. Hindi ko na alam kung anong direksyon ang pinupuntahan ko, I was too fucked up." I sniffed. I can feel his hand on my back, comforting me from tearing up.

"I'm sorry." he held my hand on top of the kitchen counter. I fixed my eyes on him and all I can feel is sincerity from his words. "Pasensya ka na kung hindi ko nagampanan yung mga responsibilidad ko sa inyo noon. I left you alone hanging on a cliff, you're crying but still, I chose to walk away. Hindi kita naisalba. I'm really... really sorry." mas humigpit ang pagkakahawak nya sa kamay ko at mas lalong bumuhos ang luha mula sa mga mata ko.

"Baka kaya siguro ang bigat bigat para sa akin mula noong umalis ka na ipaubaya ka na lang sa iba, na hayaan ko na lang lahat ng nangyari sa atin, kasi I never heard you being so sincere. Kinukumbinsi ko yung sarili kong pinatawad na kita noon pa, pero sa loob nito, ang sakit sakit pa rin..." in between my sobs I uttered. "All these years I thought the scars that you caused me was slowly fading, pero lalo lang palang bumabalik sa simula yung sakit." I continued as I catch my breath from too much crying.

"We can still fix this. Hindi pa huli ang lahat, Regine. Maaayos pa natin ito." he stood up from sitting down and lifted my chin up. Our wet, swelly eyes met and it has another story to tell. I shook my head and bowed down. Paano nga bang maaayos ang patong-patong na gusot na kasangkot kaming dalawa?

"May Gelli kang inuuwian, Ye. She's your priority now. Kailangan ka niya." mahinahon kong paalala sa kanya at marahang pinunasan ang mga luha sa aking pisngi.

"Mas kailangan nyo ako. Kailangan ako ni Maxie and I know... even if you deny a hundred, thousand of times, I know you need me. It's never too late to start over again." the quietness of our surrounding intensified our emotions. He gently cupped my face and wiped my tears away.

Hindi ko namalayang nagtagpo na ang mga labi namin at ninanamnam ang magkahalong tamis at pait ng gabi.