My Pretty Rose | Mattheo Riddle

chapter number one -rosalind

After a year, maybe a little more time has passed, I finally walk through the same corridors. The last time I walked through them was right before the war, a war that still haunts me. They always called me a positive and optimistic person , a person who always had at least a little hope. Hope destroyed me , she is worse than the greatest misfortune. Deep down I knew the war would not end well but I tried to suppress that feeling deeply inside myself.. so no one can find it.

Rosalind, the name my mother gave me, or a pretty rose. That name has always been dear to me.

Name , I say it so many times that it has become insignificant ,almost irrelevant. We are not even aware of how important it is, that people recognise us with it..that sometimes even our personality depends on it. I always carry it with me, it doesn't leave me and that's the only thing that haven't left me.Within a year, both happiness and joy, and hope and prayer did leave. Even air, fresh and relaxing , is replaced with terrible anxiety and tension.

I wish I could go back in time and enjoy moments of freedom, the ones where my biggest concern was so small compared to today. As a child coming from a purebred family I had the privilege.Voldemort won, he had a happy ending in this battle. I always looked at the battle positively because I thought it was not the end results that are important but the fact that we came out of it as fighters.

My opinion has changed, this unfortunate ending was very important.Pureblood students have returned to Hogwarts,which is currently ruled by the Death Eaters . Voldemort has taken over the Ministry of Magic and we all live by his regulations. Children who are muggle borns are sent to many houses of Death Eaters or to camps where they're tortured or forced to fo physical work. I don't have much information about them, I don't even want to know since I'm not able to help them. Half-blooded students are allowed in the school but a huge number of them did not come out of fear.

Fear.
Something we all felt at the moment and didn't even try to hide it.

I felt guilty and was constantly stung by it, the fact that I was privileged and did not suffer pain.I did not want to go back to school, the place where my friends used to go..I don't even know if they're alive. I used to think about simply taking my own life,thought that then all of my worries and pain would disappear. They kept us pure-bloods under strict care.Taking care so we don't do exactly what I was thinking about.

I am eighteen years old and I'm already annoyed by life, this life. They thought we were free but every day I felt like I was locked up and tortured by the worst spells. I don't know how they expect us to finish this year, to focus on school in addition to all these happenings.

I've never been too close with purebreed Slytherins , I've even avoided them. My family and power didn't stop them from being violent towards me and verbally abusing me, every day. They called me a traitor because I was friends with people regardless of their blood status. One particular person has never been dear to me , he has been abusing me since the first year and I can openly call him my enemy. After this war, the walked through the corridors with his head even more upright and stunned everyone. His name..it's even hard to pronounce..Mattheo Riddle or son of famous Tom Riddle,Voldemort. Until year five he was isolated from other students, he attended classes alone, that didn't stop him from preparing a horror for us every day. I was convinced that he hated me, so many times we were in a situation where he almost killed me. Mattheo is cruel and didn't care if you hurt him a little or a lot. His ego rose even higher after the battle. I tried never to show fear in front of him, to always have my own self , but now nothing was stopping him from killing me. I prayed that he would not attend school with us and that I would have at least one less problem .

The day before

The train was almost completely empty so I entered an cabin and sat by the window. I remember the first time I was on this train in 1991... clearly nervous. The same feeling I was having now,nervousness, but it wasn't positive. I was hoping that no one would disturb me and enter my cabin. This is strange,I have always been in the company of many people and now loneliness makes me happy.Maybe it's not happiness but relief. Every person reminded me of the war, every wound and scar on their face,hand..leg. Scars everywhere . Harry Potter has been praised for his scar all these years, and now each one of us has had at least one. Some scars were clearly visible, but some scars were hidden inside of our hearts.