𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 | 𝗅𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖻 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

we get back to ben and eddie is fixing him up. bill walks away from the group and i'm the only one who notice but i leave it be.

a moment later he comes back with beverly.

"what happened? that looks like it hurts!" she says as she stands next to bill.

"oh," he chuckles nervously, "i fell."

"yeah, right into henry bowers" he says

i elbow him in the side. "shut up" i whisper

"what!? it's the truth!" he says.

"the fact how you're the most inconsiderate person i've ever met!" i say.

"oh because you're all prim and perfect all the time!" he says sarcastically and shoving me backwards.

"at least i have some redeeming qualities!" i say shoving him back.

"if you say so, slut!" he says punching me right across the face that makes me fall down.

everybody gasps. "oh my gosh, y/n, you know i didn't mean to hit you that hard" he says.

he offers to help me up but i just push his arms away and get up myself.

"y/n, please i'm sorry" he begs.

"fuck off richie" i say grabbing my bike and putting my left leg over it and start peddling. i don't even know where i was going i just had to get away from richie, and i couldn't go home because of someone came to look for me that's the first place they'd check. i decided to bike to the quarry. it's the whole place i could think of, i know i talked about it all this school year and how i wanted to go so badly again but it was my safe spot. i checked behind me and no one was following me. i wish someone like beverly or bill was but also glad no one was because i knew if someone asked if i was okay i would just breakdown into tears.

i get to the quarry and i have my feet dangling over the edge and the cliff. we jumped off of this cliff every year. i remember when me and richie first became friends with everyone else we were scared to jump and we had to hold each others hands.

10 minutes later i hear a familiar voice, it was beverly.

"may i join you?" she ask.

"i guess," i say quietly, "how'd you know i was here?"

"bill told me you were talking about this place all year, he wanted to go but i figured you'd want a girl to comfort you." she says sitting next to me.

"oh" i say. just oh. i couldn't think of anything.

in a brown paper bag beverly was holding there was the things we bought for ben.

"we fixed ben up so i took these from eddie to fix you up," she says, "may i?"

i nod and she starts bandaging my face because richie hit me way to hard and i guess i started bleeding.

"was i being dramatic about the whole thing? i know richie didn't mean it, but was it unnecessary to run off like that?" i ask after she's done.

"not at all. how about, when we get back to your place we all go to the quarry tomorrow," she says, "if you're up for it"

"of course i am! i would never miss a day at the quarry" i say. we both laughed. it's true. the quarry has always been my favourite spot.

"alright little tozier. i guess we better get going now" beverly says standing up. she reachers her hand out to help me up. i didn't feel like biking back to my house since beverly walked here so i walked with her. just talking, it was nice to finally have a girl friend in the group. if she wants to be in the group of course.

we arrive at my house and everyone is on the front porch and when richie notices me and runs to give me a hug.

"i'm sorry y/n!" he says.

"it's okay richie. i was being dramatic" i say. i meant it. it was okay, he was my brother i cant stay mad for to long.

"how about we all go to the quarry tomorrow?" i suggest.

everyone agrees. we all just talk, i'm standing on the steps on my porch with beverly.

"i better get going" ben says. beverly, stanley, eddie agree. and they all head home leaving me, richie and bill.

"rich, if you clean my room i won't tell mom" i say. i wanted to be alone with bill.

"deal!" he says running inside.

bill was sitting on the porch swing. i say next to him.

"i-i'm sorry i-i didn't come t-to y-y-you. beverly st-stopped me." he says.

"it's okay, bill. you don't have to apologize" i say. a small smile comes across his face.

we sit outside on the swing talking as the sun starts to set.

"i-i better g-g-get going before m-my mom w-w-worries about me. s-see you t-t-tomorrow y/n" bill says as he gets on his bike and bikes away. as soon as he leaves i run to my room. richie was finish cleaning because he wasn't in there. i close my bedroom door and lock it and grab my diary from under my mattress and slid down the back of my door and start writing in it.

dear diary,
today was a crazy day. i stood up to henry bowers. while we were walking to the barron's me and bill held hands. richie punched me in the face and i found out what it was like to have a girl friend. and bill and i talked as the sun set on my porch swing when no one else was around, and i instantly knew, that was it was a moment to remember forever. does this mean he likes me? and tomorrow i think we're going to the quarry, aka my favourite place in derry, oh and we found a new friend, his name is ben hanscom. i've had a history class with him this year, he's actually really nice but i didn't get many chances to talk to him. beverly marsh is actually a sweet girl. i don't understand why there are rumours about her.
sincerely,
y/n tozier

i close my diary and put it back under my mattress and head downstairs to see my father sitting at the kitchen table. i know my father hates me, and he likes richie more. he constantly calls me a slut and a whore and a worthless bitch. but only when my mil isn't around. my mom never believes me either.

"where have you been all day?" he says not looking up from the news paper he was reading, "please tell me not with those disgusting boys again."

"actually i was, and they aren't disgusting" i say opening the fridge to find there isn't anything good in there.

"you know they just want you inside their pants" he says.

"that isn't true" i say pouring myself a glass of water.

"i don't want you to hangout with them anymore" he says standing up and walking towards me.

"i'm afraid i can't do that" i whisper. god i hate him so much.

"and why's that?" he ask putting his hands on my face.

"because they're my friends. and they care for me a lot more than you do!" i snap. i take his hands off of me and run to my bathroom in my room and lock the door.

i stand i front of the mirror with my hands on the sink while tears run down my cheeks. how dare he think i'm not gonna be their friends anymore. how dare he think he can just touch me. i grab a bar of soap and start scrubbing my face so his hands won't be on me anymore.

when i was done my face was red because of how hard i've been scrubbing. i hate that man, i wish my mom would just believe me. i decided to just get to bed so i on and oversized hoodie and sweat pants. and i put my long y/h/c in a messy bun.