"What up nerds across the gender spectrum?" I started my stream. The soft lofi music played in my ears, and put me in a good mood.
"So today's gonna be more of a 'chaotic meetings' day." My chat understood, based on the past week or so's events. It meant I was interacting with new people. Which meant there was no established friend-zone. Which meant I was sure to be recommended a thousand and a half new videos with a title along the lines of, "Y/N and ______ cute moments."
Chat liked chaotic meeting days.
I started the day with an unfamiliar face, messaging Sneegsnag. He replied almost instantly, and our call started.
"Mornin' Sneeg! You're live!" I said brightly.
"Why would I not be?"
"I have literally no idea why I said that-"
"We're starting off well I see."
"Couldn't be better."
Sneeg was a fun guy. I asked my mods to temporary disable the chat of anyone who spammed heart emojis.
"So- what're you gonna do about Schlatt Y/N?" Sneeg prompted randomly.
"What about him- fuck fuck fuck! Ryan got a fucking hit on me! Help!" I bared my sword against the oncoming blue avatar of Krinios. In the grand scheme of things, I was a pretty good fighter. But that's in the grand scheme of things. Right now I was getting my ass handed to me.
I groaned at the painfully familiar death screen. As I searched to find my stuff, I added Ryan to the voice call.
Once I was sure he could hear me, I started speaking, "Hey chat! Five dollars and I'll kill Ryan. You know what- make it a dollar."
Sneeg laughed, "That's petty."
"Whoa whoa whoa! What did I do?" Ryan desperately towered up with oak planks.
I heard the familiar donation ding, and a message had been attached to the ten dollar contribution. I smiled while reading it.
"Hey Ryan, you might wanna hear this." I spoke, my smirk audible.
"Yeah?" He responded quizzically.
"The one and only Antvemon has donated with a lovely message, 'Kill Krinios.' C'mon man, it's Antvemon, I gotta comply." I pulled a bow and aimed at Ryan's avatar.
I heard Sneeg's laughter under the sounds of Ryan panicking. One well aimed shot, and my hit was complete. The screams ceased.
"Speaking of Schlatt-" Sneeg started.
"No one was speaking of him." I chuckled sarcastically.
"We are now. Speaking of Schlatt-" He tried again.
"Yo where's my stuff?" Ryan playfully interrupted.
"Fuck off. Speaking of Schlatt-"
"Uh your gear is near Carson's house." I started talking.
"I'm literally going to disconnect you from the call. Let me say what I want to say." Sneeg laughed.
"Course. Course. We're sorry." Ryan said.
"Okay great. So speaking of Schlatt-"
"Yeah Sneeg we're sorry for interrupting." I tried to stifle a laugh.
"Shut the fuck up. SPEAKING of Schlatt-"
"Ah!" Ryan screamed, not sure of how to continue the bit. Everyone burst into laughter.
"Oh-okay okay. Basically, speaking of Schlatt- you gonna start that war?"
"War?- Oh no I really tweeted that? Shit."
"You sure as hell tweeted that. The responses are mad funny." Ryan proceeded to read some mildly entertaining replies.
"I regret tweeting that- but at least I don't have to act on it."
"You sure? Check your chest." Sneeg seemed extremely excited.
"Wha-" I started, then I opened the chest. Bare. No diamonds. And worse, THE diamonds were gone.
"Gotta blast. I need to call Schlatt right the fuck now."
"Good luck." Was all I heard before I left the call. Quickly I joined a call consisting of last night's cast of Cooper, Travis, Connor, and Schlatt.
"Hey fucker! Where are my diamonds?" I burst into the calamity, causing Travis to let out a soft gasp.
"I'm assuming the fucker you mean is Schlatt?" Cooper laughed.
"That very one." I bit.
"Sorry, Schlatt and I have to discuss this." Connor interrupted, leading Schlatt's avatar into a corner.
"You took the diamonds?" I heard Connor nervously say.
"Yeah!" Schlatt responded.
"Why?" Connor sounded panicked.
"Thought it'd be funny."
"I mean it was pretty funny."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"Also I'm holding them for ransom."
"You're doing WHAT?" Connor gasped.
"Schlatt Coin for diamonds."
"Y/N's literally gonna kill you every second your alive."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know- it sounded bad. Which is what it's gonna be if you don't give them back."
"No."
"Fair enough. Y/N we've talked." Connor emerged from his corner.
"We've decided to blackmail you." Schlatt said naturally.
"This is so fucking stupid-" Cooper added. Travis giggled in the background.
"Shut up. We'll give you your diamonds in exchange for your purchase of fifty Schlatt Coins." Schlatt took the conversation over again.
"You know what. A war sounds kinda funky." I grinned.
"Wait- wait- wait what." Connor cycled through his inventory of nothing, mostly.
On the opposite side of the scale, I pulled a diamond sword.
(A/N: Sorry)
YOU ARE READING
Streaming On SMPLIVE
FanfictionMeet Y/N, a streamer during the peak of SMPLive. They're living their best life. That is until a server-wide civil war breaks out over three diamonds.
