Painted to Life || Julie and the Phantoms

CHAPTER 16: Soul Searching pt. 3

NOBODY SAID IT was easy, but no one ever said it would be so hard. Attending their funerals chips away a piece of my soul, leaving a chunk of me at each of their graves. It makes everything more permanent. The families chose to have an open casket so all of their friends and family members could have one last goodbye. Seeing them laying there causes their last moments to resurface.

Alex lying on the ground. The other boys by my side on the sofa. Their snow-white pasty skin.

Luke's funeral is first. He is an only child whose parents are together, so their primary focus was on his celebration of life and burial. Reggie's parents took much longer to decide on everything. Alex's parents were juggling their jobs, the funeral, and their new court case.

The Mercers convinced the Peters to join the court case, but the Pattersons didn't want to deal with it. The other parents respected that, which I'm grateful for. All we have is each other. It would be terrible for Bobby and me to watch our friends' parents tear one another apart.

My parents tried to join the case against the Freeman Press, but they couldn't pay the attorneys. Also, their appearance on TV worked against them. The case fell through fairly quickly.

I refocus on what the man at the podium is saying about our lead vocalist. Emily and Mitch are holding hands in the front row. The former wipes her eyes with a tissue as she grips her husband's hand.

"Luke Patterson had ambitions and high hopes," the minister says. "He was a wonderful son, friend, and band member. I spoke with Bobby earlier and he said, 'Luke had this fiery passion for music like I'd never seen before. His talent for songwriting and performing will be missed by everyone. The crowds could feel our music.'"

I glance over at Bobby. I didn't know that he'd given a statement to be quoted during the funeral.

Luke's parents look down the aisle at Bobby. I see Mitch mouth the words thank you. It means a lot to hear good words about someone you love, even if it makes you miss them more.

"'The crowds could feel our music'," the minister repeats. "I know we all are feeling a mixture of emotions today. I didn't know Luke, but from the conversation I had with his friend, I can tell he's left an impact. Many of you are here today because you heard him play. You saw that special, fiery passion in Luke. Remember that feeling of listening to his music. Remember the upbeat tempo of his songs and do not be discouraged. Look to him as an inspiration. Luke loved what he did and found his purpose at age seventeen. That's admirable. So don't walk out of here in dispair. Celebrate the person he was and how he has affected you."

The pallbearers stand and the casket is closed. Luke's body is rolled down the aisle and out to the hearse.

I follow them to the burial. In the graveyard I stand next to Bobby. We both are crying, so I attempt to hold his hand, forgetting my state of being.

The families of all of the band members are crowded around the Pattersons.

A sob escapes Bobby's mouth as they lower Luke's casket into the ground. Emily hears Bobby and turns to pat his shoulder. Then she pulls him into a hug with her husband like he is part of their family.

I smile through the sadness, finding it endearing.

The next funeral follows a similar pattern. Alex's immediate family sits in the front. The other band members' families attend. This time fans are allowed. The Mercers aren't as private about their grief as the Pattersons. They need to make their feelings public to win the court case.

It seems twisted, but I understand their intentions.

The speaker is the same minister, but he has different words.