Chapter 21 - Mate of the Year

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"Says the person who almost died trying to guide their friend to their mate!"

My mouth shut as soon as Evander raised his voice and I saw Aubrey stiffen out of the corner of my eye. Evander had never once yelled like that before. He was always the one who was calm and collected. "I-"

Evander sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. His body was tense and closed off, making me realize this wasn't just some random outburst. "Aaron, I don't think you understand. We thought you were possibly dead. Aubrey and I were left in the dark about it all. When you came back, your face was so pale. You couldn't even keep your eyes open for more than a few seconds. Your heart was beating so slow and I was watching you die in front of me. Do you understand how terrifying that is? I care about both of you even if I can't feel the bond you do. You cannot just do that to us," he explained, but his voice sounded uncharacteristically desperate. "And this isn't something I'm bringing up randomly. Ever since our relationship started, you've continued to shy away from telling us important information. We're your mates, Aaron. We just want to help."

With a hard swallow, I tried to apologize. "Evander, I'm sorry."

"Do not just apologize to me. Apologize to Aubrey, too. He was worried to the point of tears, and you've continued to mistreat him as well," he said angrily.

I felt my chest tightening as I looked over at Aubrey. "I'm sorry, Aubrey."

"It's okay, Aaron," he whispered. "You just really scared us both."

"You didn't seem mad. I'm sorry, I didn't know," I tried to explain.

"I'm not mad," Evander sighed. "Well, yes, I am a bit upset, but I'm more afraid than mad. Anything could have happened out there and we were clueless. I didn't like it. The secrets you keep hiding are yours to keep, but you can't keep stuff from us if it endangers you or either of us."

"I know, I'm sorry," I whispered.

I didn't even know I was hurting them. What a great mate I was right? Not even a month into our relationship and I was already hurting them. They were silent, but I could practically feel the tension in the air.

Evander sighed. "I apologize for yelling. That was uncalled for. But...do you understand where we're coming from?"

I hummed. Honestly, I wanted to curl up into a ball and stop existing. I felt horrible. The mountain of mistakes I have continued to make piled on top of my shoulders and I felt them hunch a bit in response to the sudden emotional weight. Why couldn't I be a good mate to them? Why couldn't I do anything right? Why did I have to keep messing up? Why was I the only one messing up?

"I will be back. I need a moment," Evander said.

"Okay."

He looked at Aubrey and the nymph bit his lip. "Um, I'll come with you."

Before they left, Aubrey crawled over to kiss my cheek. "I'm not mad at you. I still care about you, too."

I fought back the tears threatening to spill. I refused to cry in front of them if I had the option not to. "Thank you. I care about you, too," I whispered so they couldn't hear how tight my throat was with tears.

They left after that, and the moment they did, the dam broke. "Shit," I mumbled, laying down on the sleeping bag and covering my face.

How long had that built up? How long had Evander been frustrated with me? The tears continued to leak from my eyes and I felt angry at myself for allowing it. Why did I deserve to cry? It was my fault. I tried my best to tell myself otherwise - or at the very least will myself not to cry over it anymore - but all I could do was silently let out my self-hatred in the form of hot tears.

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