White Confession ~ NamJin Stories ✔️

White Confession

Who was glowing white in the dark night

And sparkled in the white snow

Maybe I, maybe I still

Love you

Namjoon tightened his caramel coat as he walked aimlessly. The night was still young and lovely but the weather was dull and bloody chill. The hell could probably freeze by the coldness. And he missed this certain person. This certain person he knew for years. His childhood friend. His very first and forever love one. Namjoon missed this certain person who left when he had no courage to tell that he was in love with him.

The fluttering wishes

The confession that I never made

I will visit you with the white snow and tell you

I will tell you while looking at your eyes

The love that remains in me

I wanna give it to you now

Namjoon sighed. He was in Senior High School back then. He had no courage to tell this certain person about his feeling. Though they knew each other, though they were close as friends, Namjoon was afraid. He was afraid if he tell, he would be rejected. And he regreted it. He regreted to be left and this certain person never know about what he felt.

Namjoon looked up, staring the night sky. "You're still doing well, right?" He smiled bitterly. "You were so special. You are..."

While snowing, in between you and me

Is full of steps that wandered around you

I regret the winter night so much

When I let you go without even noticing

Namjoon continued to walk. He didn't know where he would stop. All he knew was to pray, for God to give him another chance. All he wanted was to meet this certain beloved one.

His steps were became light, yet the burden on his chest became heavier. He passed through the small park where kids usualy played around. It's the park where he and this certain person met, as neighbor. Namjoon with his parents were new comer back then. And this certain person was Namjoon's first fellow. He used to play around with this certain beloved one, his childhood friend. And the nostalgia succeed to make him suffered more.

Namjoon stopped his aimlessly night walking in that cold winter. He stopped. He stopped and turned his head. He wanted to make sure that God was exist. He wanted to make sure that God would answer his pray.

He walked towards the swings inside the park. He wanted to make sure. He wanted to believe miracles came on Christmas.

Namjoon only knew this certain person. The real beauty he had ever met. The real toxic that could kill him. The real cure that could heal him.

The person who sat quietly on the swing raised his head. Blinked his eyes cutely as his mouth slightly opened when he realized he wasn't alone anymore.

"Namjoon?" The person finally said in disbelief. His beautiful eyes grew bigger and sucked Namjoon into the universe of those beads.

This certain person was still the most beautifull one, and lovely.

"J-Jin?" Namjoon scared he was only dreaming. "I thought you were..."

It's Jin. Kim Seokjin. Namjoon's childhood friend. Namjoon's first and forever love one.

Seokjin smiled. Even his beautiful smile was still the same. "In Japan?"

Namjoon nodded.

"I arrived yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, yet..."

Namjoon moved to sit on the swing beside Seokjin's. "It's already three years and a half, right?" Namjoon surprised he counted the days without Seokjin by his side. "I couldn't contact you since that day... Are you doing well?"

There were silence for a moment. And the silences scared Namjoon to death.

Seokjin bit his lower lip and nodded. "I'm sorry..." He said half whispered. "I needed to disappear. To make you disappear." He smiled. "That's the only way I could move on and focus on studying..."

Namjoon raised his head to face the person beside, but the one he had staring didn't bothered to stare back.

The beautiful snowflower that blooms in the winter

You were especially weak with coldness

Forget about the pain that the tears erased

I'm still obsessed with those eyes

Namjoon couldn't hold it anymore. He stood up and took off his coat to put it on Seokjin's body who only wear not so thick white turtle neck sweater and beanie.

Namjoon didn't want to regret anymore. He took Seokjin's hand and made the pretty guy stood up on his feet.

"Don't leave..." Namjoon said as he cupped Seokjin's face and deeply staring the pretty guy's beads, before he wrapped the other on his warm embrace. "Don't leave again like that... I need you..."

"Namjoon?"

Seokjin slowly released the embrace, staring Namjoon with his pretty beads.

"I love you, and it's hurt when I couldn't reach you... Don't leave again..." Namjoon finally said what he needed to tell.

Seokjin chuckled a little. "You should tell me earlier. I was suffered all this time. Did you know that I al-"

Namjoon needed to shut the complain. And Seokjin received it. The warm kisses they held for years in silence.

"I love you too." Seokjin mumbled between the kiss. And Namjoon couldn't help but smile.

The silent confession that I bravely shouted

And the far away he, whom I couldn't hold onto

The last portrait in my imagination

Now has become reality and brings him back

.

.

A/N:

The italic lines were lyrics from "White Confession-Lately" by INFINITE.

Merry Christmas.

Pearlgrey - Dec 25, 2016