Made in the A.M

Olivia

Briana had been papped several times, showing off a baby bump. She attended several concerts as well just to keep up the facade.

Louis wasn't doing great. He knew he had fucked up. He was so over his head and he knew that he needed help but he was too proud to ask for it. He wasn't ready to stop anyway. The question was if Harry would hold out? The thought that they wouldn't send him into a panic state of mind. He couldn't breathe and he started to sob uncontrollably. He tried to hide those kinds of episodes from Harry. He didn't want to give him yet another reason to leave him. But of course, he couldn't hide it forever. He never knew when they would hit him, paralyzing him completely.

Harry had gone down to eat breakfast one morning and he had stayed in bed, too hungover to move. He didn't have an appetite either. Whenever he was left alone that now-familiar fear of losing Harry washed over him and he started to cry.

That was when Harry entered the hotel room and found him like that. Harry rushed over to the bed.
"What's wrong Lou?"

"You're gonna leave me." Louis said.

Harry sighed and climbed into bed and held him.
"I love you, Louis."

"I'm not giving you enough. You don't deserve this. I'm a fucking mess. I can't stop." Louis managed to get out between sobs.

"For better and for worse. In sickness and in health Lou. Please, let me get you some help." Harry pleaded.

"We're in the middle of a tour Harry. We have never been allowed to skip even one show. Are you gonna send me to rehab? That's impossible. Maybe later, around Christmas? Yeah, then we have some time off." Louis answered.

Harry couldn't argue against that. Louis was right. He let out a deep sigh and held him closer.

The next day Harry started to write a song. He thought about what Louis had told him and how he would reassure him about how much he meant to him. He didn't know what got him thinking of it, but he and Louis had always used code words and sign language to say I love you, especially in the early days. Olive was one of those words, instead of I love you. Pretty transparent. They even tweeted it once at the same time while they laid next to each other giggling. He sometimes wished that they could go back.

He couldn't write Olive in the song because then their label would take it as a reference to a man, so he changed it to Olivia. He just had to explain it to Louis if he didn't get it.

He sang the song for Louis a couple of days later.

"Four to three (and then)
And then you gotta play, lost your part
Which means you rest for four bars"

"Right, three, stop, then three"

Remember the day we were giving up
When you told me I didn't give you enough
And all of your friends were saying I'd be leaving you
She's lying in bed with my t-shirt on
Just thinking how I went about it wrong
This isn't the stain of a red wine, I'm bleeding love

Please believe me, don't you see
The things you mean to me?
Oh I love you, I love you
I love, I love, I love Olivia

I live for you, I long for you, Olivia (hey hey)
I've been idolizing the light in your eyes, Olivia (hey hey)
I live for you, I long for you, Olivia
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Say what you're feeling and say it now
'Cause I got the feeling you're walking out
And time is irrelevant when I've not been seeing you
The consequences of falling out
There's something I'm having nightmares about
And these are the reasons I'm crying out to be with you

Please believe me, don't you see
The things you mean to me?
Oh I love you, I love you
I love, I love, I love Olivia

I live for you, I long for you, Olivia (hey hey)
I've been idolizing the light in your eyes, Olivia (hey hey)
I live for you, I long for you, Olivia
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

When you go and I'm alone
You live in my imagination
The summertime and butterflies
All belong to your creation
I love you, it's all I do
I love you

I live for you, I long for you, Olivia (hey hey)
I've been idolizing the light in your eyes, Olivia (hey hey)
I live for you, I long for you, Olivia
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go (Olivia)

"No way"

Louis wiped away a tear.
"Thanks, Harry. Olivia?"

"Olive." Harry grinned.

"Oh! Olive you too. So much." Louis smiled.