Don't Let Me Fall

Six

Six:: Paisley

"I've been ignoring this big lump in my throat
I shouldn't be crying, tears were for the weaker days
I'm stronger now or so I say
But something's missing"

Rihanna-What Now

Perusing through my closet, I stood clad in my towel and a mix playing through my speaker.I was swaying when I grabbed a black bra and a floral Adidas sweatshirt as well as a pair of blue lace panties.

Pulling on some black knee socks and a matching mint beanie and going into the bathroom, to do my makeup. I did some natural eye shadow and some dark maroon lipstick. I did light mascara putting in my diamond stud earrings. Earlier when everyone was about to leave Kristian said he'd rather get to know me completely sober then just begin a relationship off drunken conversations that neither of us remember was reluctant to agree, but one thing was still floating in my head and driving me crazy. You see when I woke up it wasn't Kristian's arm around my waist, nuzzling his head into my neck. It was Ryan who had shot me looks all throughout the morning. So what he thought I was Emily? It happens and it's not like anyone saw the intimate slip up. Pulling my phone off the dock and plugging in headphones I turned it up almost all the way, and danced out to the kitchen dancing to L.A. love.

Demi wasn't supposed to be home but me parading around in my undies wasn't anything new here. I walked to the fridge and grabbed out a blk water. Unscrewing the lid I took a drink and closed my eyes happy that I had the entire apartment to myself with no chance of interruptions.

I was gonna be home alone the entire day as Demi was visiting Eli's family with him. I made my way to the living room Leonidas happily padding behind me, begging to be on my lap once I was settled. I unplugged my phone and dialed Daria.

"Hello?"

"Daria?"

"Yeah is it you Pais?"

"No, it's Jesus."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

"Why haven't you tried to contact me or answer me? What happened to getting one day a week to talk?"

"I'm sorry it's just James and I got into a fight and we've been fixing the broken pieces ya know?" she spoke and I could hear a loud voice in the background.

"What happened love?Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's our business not yours."

"Okay?"

"Sorry, it's just I'm pretty sure he's the one Paisley and if he is then I can't worry about my friends more than our relationship. I hope you understand, and Demi too. I gotta go."

"Bye I guess. I'm still confused as hell. But okay."

"I'm sorry." Was all she said before she hung up.

That was sketchy and I knew something was up and desperately wanted to call Demi and tell her Daria was still alive, but I didn't. I felt perpetually alone in that moment as I pulled my puppy closer and played my music once again. I knew that that conversation was the end for a while.

Growing up I got used to people coming in and out of my life. People not staying and engraving themselves in me.

Instead of wallowing in self pity like usual, I went to my room grabbed a book and brewed some tea curling up in a ball on the couch with a matchbox 20 cd ringing through the quiet apartment as I read through a Mary Higgins Clark novel.

***

It was about one in the afternoon when a nock on the door interrupted my quick break to make lunch. I shouted a quick "Hold on one second!" and ran to my room to throw on a pair of pants.Quickly opening the door I was shocked to see Ryan Ferro on my doorstep, a hazy look in his eyes and a small pout on his chapped lips.

"Demi and Eli are going at it. Couldn't handle it andEmily kicked me out so I opted this was my last choice considering that the rest of my friends are finishing out their holiday."

"Nice to see I'm your last choice." I snorted allowing him inside and closing the door to keep out the cold.

"Atleast you're a choice right?" He slumped onto the couch and Leonidas happily trotted after him to make sure he wasn't a foul beast. It was thenI realized the haze in his eyes was lack of sleep rather than what other thoughts swirled around my cranium.

"Want some Tea? Lunch?" I asked making my way back to my unattended ham and cheese loaf sandwich.

"That's something you'd ask you know? I impose on your time and you offer to make me lunch. The world needs more Paisley Winters."

"I think one of me is enough for the world to handle really."

"I like you Paisley. Your different."

"But you don't even know me silly."

"Yeah, but I really want to."

After a bit I could hear his heavy footsteps gently padding across the hard wood. I turned to see him staring at the few records and cds I had scattered on the table near the radio player. I watched as he picked up a record observing it and running his calloused hands over the worn vinyl.

"The Beatles were a great band. Shame they still can't make music."

"There's a lot of great bands. Too many to count."

"Emily doesn't appreciate music really. She thinks its just words without meaning. But its really so much more."

"Hmm. I get what you mean."

"Can I ask you something Paisley?" Ryan asked as we both sat on the couch with lunch in our laps.

"Fire away."

"What do you think the worst part about being sad is?"

"I think that the worst part of being sad is you don't know what makes you happy anymore."

"Why are you always so quiet in public? I'd expect you to be loud."

"I'm a complex system you see. Its not that I don't feel comfortable and whatnot but rather I feel its smart of me to keep quiet. No one would really understand certain things I say. I've had a very different life from everyone here. In my view on things are just a shade darker than most. It's a blessing and a curse."

"Like a puzzle?"

" Yeah sort of like that. A hell of a complicated one I'd suppose."

"I like puzzles. I wouldn't mind spending my life trying to put you together."

"Tell me a story Ryan."

"I'm actually trying to figure one out."

"Oh? what might this be about?"

"You, of course silly girl."

Authors Note:

Sorry ive taken so long to upload guys! ive recently had a close friend of mine die in a car accident so ive been dealing with that. I've now been finally able to get on and get chapters up more hopefully. The picture is the beatiful city of New York. As always comment and like! love you few readers:)

~Hanna~