See that girl there?
The one who's smiling and laughing;
who carries herself confidently and with poise;
who seems to have it all figured out and has stuff working out for her;
who might be really busy but you know will stop by an acquaintance and drop a well meant compliment to make them smile;
who has got those really loyal, lovely and enviable friends;
who you'll rarely see losing her cool, but when she does, she somehow manages to do that with grace too;
who you'd wish to be seated next to at the dentist - she can light up the whole room with her cheery smile and animated talks;
who's so passionate and protective over everything she loves - you see it in the way her eyes sparkle, lips involuntarily smile - she glows when she talks about them. You wanna be one of those people.
She's the kind we all secretly wish to be, but just don't know how she does that.
No, I won't tell you that she's tired and broken and insecure and crying inside, hiding it from the world with a plastic smile cause she doesn't want to look weak.
That's because she isn't, she was.
Yeah, you read that right : she was, but she isn't now.
She doesn't just pretend to be strong, she actually is.
She doesn't smile at strangers to look nice and courteous, she knows how a simple compliment from a random person can bright up one's day.
She won't help you just so you help her back later, she knows how rare it is to find an unselfish friend.
She doesn't have the perfect friends - she has fought with them enough times to know that they will still be there.
She doesn't not get angry or irritated or sad - but she knows now how to manage it.
She doesn't never feel feel lonely - she knows that she has herself to be with.
She doesn't reply to your texts instantly just cause she has nothing better to do - she has decided to give people the love and attention she desperately needs but doesn't expect it to come her way.
She isn't kind and helpful cause she is weak - she won't let herself down by stooping low.
She has her scars too - but they are the stars that make her shine.
Life was never a bed of roses for her, she just taught herself to walk over the thorns.
She has gone through her own hell, she has tasted innumerable sorrows - stuff that no one understands, times when it felt like the world was against her, when the demons were her own, when she didn't know what and if to do.
She has cried unnoticed through many long minutes, sighed in pity at her own self, tossed through sleepless nights repeating that fallout over and over again in her heavy mind, cursed herself for overthinking and overcaring and overworrying, she has screamed and begged for a break when people won't let her.
She has spent lonely nights imagining a warm hug or a soft hand to hold onto, she has passed weeks feeling empty and hollow, unnoticed and unworthy, she has questioned her own existence countless times, contemplated on the hard-to-find meaning of life, the reluctance to accept change, has found herself lost in limbo, she ponders over right and wrong and what actually defines and separates them.
She has met and loved and hated her fair share of fakers, players, heartbreakers, backstabber, haters, traitors - the wrong kind, she has got her trust broken so many times only for it to heal and be broken again.
She has shouted at the world and it's stupid people, has resented the sick condition of humanity yet found herself powerless to change it, she has failed to comprehend simply why some people do what they do.
She has whiled away weeks with feeling nothing, lost her way in the desert more times than you could ever imagine, she has spent days mindlessly and carelessly, and regretted that at the same time yet felt powerless to change and has been irritated with herself for that.
She is a bit proud of, yet hates herself at the same time, and never ceases to be amused by that fact.
Yet, she overcame it.
She taught herself that it's only she who can lift herself up and that it's better to trust in God and let go sometimes.
She believes that it will always work out - in ways different yet better than she wanted too - everything happens for a reason, yet when it's all over she will be smiling radiantly and be proud of herself for going through what she went through.
She accepted that things won't go her way half the time, but that doesn't mean she gotta change the path or stop walking.
She decided not to let the world and its ways ever affect her, for her inner peace comes with being true to herself.
She learnt that most people are worse than all the adjectives she could use to describe them and that maybe it's better to close ger heart off forever, she she also knows that there is nothing more beautiful than a person who still lets feelings in even though they have wrecked her countless times - who still believes.
She is grateful for the life and love she has got, and spends each day trying to make the best of it.
And that's what keeps her going on on those gloomy dark days. She knows she'll be at the lowest point at times, but the lows will make her understand the value and cost of the highs, it's the dark murky waters that will make her appreciate the fresh air and golden sunlight, it's the emptiness that makes her realise the importance of filling oneself with love and happiness, the bad will make her love the good even more fiercely - she needs to be lost before she can find herself.
She knows that life will never be perfect - but its the craziness and unpredictability and messing up and mistakes and first-times and moments of love and wonder that give it its meaning.
She, is you.
YOU ARE READING
--Bridges--
PoetryOne of the favourite lessons reading books has taught me is that you're never alone, not alteast in thoughts and words. There are others who think like you, feel like you and react like you. It's like that sometimes, our unspoken thoughts are the b...
