𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏 𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐂 ║ 𝐌𝐂𝐘𝐓 𝐅𝐓. 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐃

coffee date with wilbur (& co. because legal reasons)

# 🍩-𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕-𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎

        (y/n) woke up at 11 pm, a bit after everyone else had. tubbo was up, but hadn't moved since (y/n) was still sleeping. everyone was just chilling, not really doing anything.

        they woke up just as niki and tommy were leaving for the grocery store. niki said they planned on attempting a pretty poggers german dish, but didn't have the right ingredients. tommy was just along for the ride, hoping for content.

        (y/n) hummed, not moving. they even closed their eyes to try and go back to bed. wilbur walked into the room and interrupted their attempt at sleep.

        "how about coffee?" (y/n) abruptly asked, cutting wilbur off from whatever he was saying. "i owe you a coffee date, i think? platonic."

        "oh!" tubbo tried to stand, forgetting (y/n) was on him. he paused and settled for raising his hand exaggeratedly. "can i come, too? fundy as well? group coffee date!"

        fundy instantly agreed. he didn't care what wilbur had to say. wilbur was invalid anyway. he agreed and that was that.

        the four of them went to a small coffee shop. (y/n) didn't recognize the name, and it seemed like no one else did either.  

        "yoo, i've never actually had coffee before," (y/n) told the waiter. they were about the same age. he was eyeing them weirdly. that... "what do you recommend?"

        he turned his head away and sputtered out some random drink. (y/n) ordered it.

        after he left, wilbur turned to them. he had a hard look on his face, and (y/n) didn't know what that meant. "(y/n), he was totally checking you out."

        "you sound like a white mom. i don't care what he was doing. i don't care about romance and shit. last thing i need is some 'oliver' guy coming into my life and messing up my travel plans. do you know how hard it'd be to go across the country when there's someone at home just... waiting for you?"

        "do you not have anyone at home waiting?" wilbur asked, the topic of oliver completely slipping out of his mind.

        beneath the table, (y/n) fiddled with their hands. family always made its way into every discussion, wiggling its way there like a fucking worm. (y/n) wanted to grab that worm and grind it into a fucking bloody paste. "nope. unless you count my brother, and we barely interact." 

        tubbo silently signaled for wilbur to drop it.

        their drinks came fairly quickly. oliver gave (y/n) his number, to which (y/n) looked right into his eyes and claimed they were aromantic. their group and the table behind them got a kick out of that.

        while oliver apologized and ran back to the counter, (y/n) caught a glimpse of something—or someone, rather—quickly hiding behind the wall. their gaze lingered for a bit, and sure enough, someone peaked their head out from the wall and looked at their group. then they disappeared.

        (y/n) sipped their coffee, burning their tongue. "there's someone behind that wall, im—"

        tubbo and wilbur, the real men of the group—whatever that was supposed to mean—left the table and went investigating. fundy and (y/n) stared at each other.

        then they stared some more.

        fundy thought (y/n) was going to back down. he'd mastered the art of staring years ago. what could a simple fifteen-year-old possibly do that could outmatch his skills? eyes were starting to water. it was getting hard to see.