toxic

and

like a candle in the wind, my soul was flickering because of your love.

do you remember that day when you'd walked in on the boy from the italian diner across the street kissing me up against the wall? you had slammed the door and screamed at him, taking both of us by surprise. and i had yelled at you to get out of my house because you didn't belong here anymore. this wasn't your roof, this wasn't your home, this wasn't your place to be. but you had tuned out my voice the way you always ignored my words and marched over to the boy from the diner with clenched fists.

i don't remember the boy's name but i remember the way you hit him over and over again like a madman. but then again, i guess you were a madman -- you were as insane as i was, maybe even more so. yes, i remember how you hit him till he was bloody and blue and kicked him out of my house with scathing words and caustic curses. then you turned to me with eyes fired with rage, asking me that how dare i kiss another man. and i responded angrily, saying how dare you come back to the place that you once walked out of. and the next few minutes were full of screaming and shouting, but i think we were more angry at the time we'd lost from being apart rather than at each other. because we loved one another and loved each other's blackened souls -- our love was a candle in the darkness that refused to blow out.

the next day you moved back with me in my house and kissed me for hours and hours. but when you kissed me, you made sure not to go near the wall where he had kissed me, and when we went out for dinner, you took me to a drab chinese restaurant across town. we never went out for italian since then.