toxic

darling -

// past //

"may i have this dance?"

"nah."

i look at you, surprised and a little hurt by your response. you stare at me, expressionless, and for a moment we don't say a word until a wide grin spreads on your lips and you burst out laughing.

"gotcha," you say, with a twinkle in your eyes. i shake my head and roll my eyes, and you grab my hand and pull me towards you before i can even react.

with one hand, you grab my waist, and with the other, you turn the dial on our speaker and blast the music to full volume. then you take that hand and rest it upon my back, and we dance.

we whirl around in circles and move back and forth a bit clumsily, accidentally stepping on each other's feet from time to time. you kiss me on my cheeks and on my forehead, and we scream "i love you" as we spin round and round on the slippery floor, laughing and shouting into the air, letting the world be ours for this very moment.

we are infinite, we are iridescent. we are in love.

—————————————————————————————————————————

// present-day //

"may i have this dance?"

i ask the question hesitantly, with a hopeful look on my face. you don't even glance my way as you respond, "no."

i count the beats of the song that plays softly in the room for a while, waiting and hoping you'll respond differently. but you remain silent and your eyes are glued to the tv screen, and i stand there feeling so damn lonely as the song finishes and the next one starts to play.

"honey, just one song. we haven't danced in forever."

you grab the remote and turn the tv off. you look at me, shrugging, and stand up. my spirits lift up a little but then you start walking towards the bed instead of towards me.

you get underneath the covers and turn off the lights. "i'm tired," is all you say.

i stay silent and turn off the music, fighting the tears that are brimming at the surface of my eyes. i join you in bed and close my eyes, nostalgic for our better days.

we are fading, we are lifeless. we are crashing to the ground.