Starting Over

Violet Makes Amends

Sunday I woke up with a bitter taste in my mouth, guilt-free but pessimistic about my ability to keep up with my goals. As we headed to running club, Toby noticed my mood and tried to perk me up with his annoying reminders: "Most importantly, don't be alone when you're triggered. There's a group of us you can call. No way we'll all five be busy at once."

"I'm sure it could happen," I grumbled to his disapproval.

"Stay positive. Find healthier hobbies. I'll check in during our meetings to ensure you're staying on track."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him because he was right. Toby wasn't the type to micromanage me, but he'd stand true to his word. "Work will keep me busy."

"That's good to nourish your mind, but don't forget your body and soul."

"Yeah, yeah, exercise and meditation, I know."

We'd thankfully arrived at the track, everyone in a circle on the field as Izaak led them in stretches. He seemed so different now than when I'd first met him: a sexist, military-trained guy with a stick up his ass and bossing the entire world around. Nowadays Izaak was a buff bronze-skinned deity, strict but fair, virtuous just for the sake of being a good person.

"You'll also feel better once you pay off your debts. Get started on that immediately."

To dodge more lectures, I jogged towards the group, waving at everybody and giving Clo a fist bump. "Missed ya yesterday," I said, standing at her side so we could look like un-athletic losers together.

"Izaak doesn't force me to run on the weekends, but I got in trouble last night so chose this over another... you know."

I smirked at the way her cheeks blushed thinking about getting spanked.

Toby now joined us, finding space on the other side of Clo. The chemistry I'd noticed at our meeting a few days ago was even more apparent as his lips curved up in a smile and their eyes locked in a flirtatious gaze. I couldn't identify how she felt about the psychiatrist, but he was totally smitten. "I have the tickets for this evening — pick you up at 5?"

"Tickets for what?" I interjected loudly, ignoring the dirty look Izaak gave me for disrupting his stretches. This was more important. "I'm not invited? You goin' on a date??"

"Focus on the exercise and mind your own business," Toby responded flatly.

I rolled my eyes and nudged Clo til she told me. "I've always wanted to visit the Statue of Liberty at sunset..."

"Whaaaat! Barf, so cheesy and touristy. Okay, thanks for not inviting me, I guess." I laughed and winked at her. Those two were totally gonna fuck like bunnies before the end of summer.

x-x-x-x

After jogging six out of eight laps (because that's how slow I was... fucking cigarettes), the group scattered, leaving only my friends.

"You play flag football?" Izaak asked me as Toby and Clo flirted off to the side, oblivious to everyone else.

My eyebrows raised. "Yeah, for sure, Bro. Why?"

"Stay for our game. We are always one player short."

"So fuckin' bossy..." I teased.

"Do you have something else to do?"

The only item on my agenda was to pay off debts, which I would happily procrastinate. "Why ain't it regular football though... I wanna tackle you."

He laughed. "Seriously? You could not handle me."

"Is that a challenge?" I said with a wink.

A guy who could've been Izaak's little brother interrupted us. He carried duffle bags of equipment, and Izaak ordered me to help set up the field. My gut reaction was to unleash my inner anarchist, but the submissiveness from last night had stuck, and I kinda liked him bossing me around. Ew. Where did that come from?