Starting Over

Violet's Weekend with Toby

As Gabe and I walked out of the office, I saw a familiar figure leaning against the wall, gazing in our direction. "The fuck's he doin' here?" I growled, stopping and folding my arms.

"Cool it," my boss warned. He took a step closer to me, face serious. "Molly needs a break from babysitting you, so you'll stay with Toby this weekend."

My eyes narrowed. "I don't need a fuckin' babysitter..."

I was rudely cut off by Gabe grabbing my ear and dragging me forward. "And I don't need your fucking attitude, young lady."

As I caught someone noticing what he had done, my cheeks flushed. "Oh my god, really?? In public?"

"You're lucky I don't blister your ass right out here in front of everyone. Are you ready to behave and stop with the defiance?"

Unsure if more eyes were watching, and knowing Gabe and Toby could easily gang up against me, the embarrassment was strong enough to prompt compliance... for now. "Fine." He yanked on my ear, causing a yelp, and then I blubbered, "Yes sir!"

Gabe's hand dropped, and I rubbed my earlobe as he pushed me to walk faster towards my friend. An unfamiliar heavy lump sat in my gut, wanting to avoid Toby. No matter how mean Gabe treated me, our interactions had an underlying humor; we're just part of a big game. Toby, on the other hand, was the implied winner and didn't allow my arguments, staying serious. He was so much smarter than me. I could never win.

Almost arriving at Toby, I stopped again. "Bro... Don't make me go with him... I can behave on my own..."

Gabe raised his eyebrows and shoved me forward. "Nobody asked your opinion. You're going, end of story."

x-x-x-x

I tried not to rage too much as Toby awkwardly watched me pack a backpack of clothes for the next two nights. "This is so fucking stupid. I'm not a child, I can stay by myself," I grumbled now that Gabe wasn't around.

Toby stared at me, waiting patiently for my tantrum to subside. His scrutinizing stare observing my every little move made me feel more vulnerable than last night when I was naked in front of them all.

"It's not like I don't have shit to keep me occupied. I don't need a fucking babysitter." I sniffled, stuck in a battle between mixed emotions: angry my friends didn't trust me to be alone... confident that I wouldn't do anything stupid since I'd be with Toby... terrified of how the next few hours would go... But anger was the only thing I could show. "Treatin' me like a criminal or psych patient. This is some bullshit."

I threw a Buddha figurine of Vic's and it bounced against the wall, then flew towards the dresser and knocked over a framed picture of our family. Oops. My eyes rolled, and I was about to keep packing when fingers clasped around my upper arm.

"Bro! You scared the shit outta me. You move like a ninja, what the fuck, yo."

Toby jerked me to him, still a serious face, not playing with me. His gaze so intense I cowered, sensing that I was about to be put in my place. "You are both a criminal and a psych patient: you've broken several laws and you are an addict. Instead of giving your commentary and throwing shit around, be grateful that you have friends who care enough to get you out of the fucktopia you created for yourself. After the way you've treated us all lately, you don't deserve an ounce of the attention we're giving. Be thankful we're better friends to you than you've been to us."

My stomach clenched, and I hung my head, anger dissolved and now just feeling like a shitty person. Which I deserved, but ugh, one of the worst feelings ever.