𝚃𝙾𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙴

𝙶𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎

Thats why i looked at them longingly, absorbing every piece if happiness he gifted me.
I made my way down the hallway, eyes still fixed to the pictures, not noticing how Taeyong stood in the guest rooms door, watching every single one of my movements in awe.
Suddenly i tripped over a fold in the carpet and found my head burried in someones chest.
My heart skipped a beat because i didn't expect to meet anyone at that late hour of the day.
I panicked for a second until i smelled his colonge. The scent that smelled like home for me, the scent that always meant pure love and appreciation.The scent that now reminded me of all the thoughts i had successfully escaped from.
In that moment my heart broke a little more and i started to cry, staining his shirt with my tears.

Taeyong PoV:

Her delicate figure wandered down the hallway, looking at the pictures we took together. Our first date where we promised to stay together forever. The first vacation we attended where i promised her to appreciate every single memory and protect her whatever it would cost me. And lastly my proposal, the day where our promise finally became reality.
I wanted to marry her, the love of my life, but i couldn't anymore.
The lie i had built, ruled my mind.
She doesn't deserve me.
The thought crossed my mind and setteled, forming the base of the horrifying decision i would make the next day.

Taeha PoV:

I woke up with a headache. It felt like someone worked my head with a hammer.
The windows were still open and the curtains flew around like feather clouds, giving it that dreamy movie feeling. The five blankets i wrapped around me last night, layed all across the floor, next to some pillows i lost in my dreams.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and stared at the ceiling. Normally i would hear the noise of the kitchen utensils by now, but because i didn't hear anything, i assumed he went out early in the morning. And that he left me behind once again.

I sighed and hieved my body out of bed. My gaze fell onto the dirty mirror where a girl looked back at me. She didn't look anything like me, at least not like the me from a few weeks ago.
H

er appearance was a whole mess, strains of hair flew around her head like the arms of an octopus.

Deep purple shadows highlighting her prominent cheekbones.
Adding onto that her skintone made her look like the ghost that had been haunting her in her dreams.
I

fixed my glasses and opened my messy bun just to put it up again two seconds later and least that made me look a bit more alive.

I slipped in my slippers and made my way downstairs.
I didn't even bother to put on different clothes, because i didn't expect anyone to be there anyways. In my mind he already left.
I wouldn't be surprised if he packed his things and left without a word.

While i made myself some eggs for breakfast, i thought about the things that happened the last few weeks. He had been out every evening, always using a lame excuse that sounded to boring to be real.

One time he was at the studio, the other night he left for dance practice, and he even met his friends which he never did before our engagement because he always said i was more important.
I missed him.
I missed out nightly cuddle sessions and his exhausted gaze, that lit up every time he saw me.
I missed his butterfly kisses, that trailed down my face until he ended on my lips, moving perfectly in sync with them.

The last few days, he came home in the a.m while i laid in my bed cuddling with my blankets.
And to be very honest i always waited for him to come home and join me, but just as last night, he always went for the guest room.
I took my bowl of scrambled eggs and a glass of sparkling water while i ambeled over to the living room.

As i entered the living room, which was flooded by sunlight, a deafening sound was heard, as my bowl of eggs shattered on the smooth parquet floor.
A sheet of paper laid on the table, folded once in the middle.
It immediately caught my attention and as i made my way to the table the first three words paralyzed my senses.

I'm sorry Taeha

Stood there in his boyish handwriting, that i always found so magnetizing. But now it broke my heart into millions of pieces. Those three words confirmed what i was most afraid of. He was hiding something.
I took the letter in my shaky hands while i sat down.

I'm sorry Taeha,
I never thought i would write something like this. But somehow everything led togehter and now i'm here writing this, with the worst feeling a man could ever have.
Do you remember our first date? Where we promised to stay by each others side? Our engagement? Where i could finally seal our promise?

I broke it.
I broke our promise.
And i can't bear being with you anymore. I dont want to do this, believe me, but i also dont want to hurt you anymore by hiding it.

You may think why did he do this?
Well its hard to explain, actually i dont know it myself and i dont want to deny it because what happened, happened and i cant rewind the time, because if i could i would immediately do it trust me.
But sadly i cant, so i'm saying goodbye

I know it will be hard but please try to understand, that i dont want to hurt the person i love the most on this earth more than i already did, by trying to hide my mistake.
I know you will get over me someday. I believe in you. Youre stronger than you think

Goodbye Taeha. I love you
- Taeyong