Unable to let go, unable to run away | Kagehina Angst

Our story will change

⚠ TW: this chapter mentions topics such as suicide, physical abuse and detailed overwhelming emotions that may be triggering to some! You've been warned ⚠

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*~Play "Everywhen - Bonus Track" By "Hammock"*~

As the black haired boy got to the gym, his teammates were staring at him, they wore disgusted faces as they stared at his muscular shirtless body that was full of scars and cuts given to him by his father: they were all judging him. Tobio felt the intensity in the mood, they all expected him to say something, anything! But he couldn't, he couldn't do a thing...
So he ran, he ran like a coward running away from his problems, unable to properly face them.
He was a coward, nothing more: a weak fragile fly that could be crushed by anyone or anything. The more he ran, the more he remembered: every good and bad memory he had with his teammates that he cherished so much...
Every kick, every beating, every slap that was given to him by his dad. Every pain he brought upon others due to his own pathetic past, it felt like someone was using a torture advice, playing with his emotions like they were meaningless! "STOP" he screamed at the top of his lungs, it hurt like hell, but he couldn't care less. He started begging at this point... He finally ran out of breath from running as he looked around him only to find himself on a tall-looking bridge, it was around 13 meters tall from the ground, it had a fence all around it, but it was really short, anyone could easily jump over it. He stood there just looking down "I could end everything right here, right now.." He stood on the edge admiring for the beautiful view, the sun was nowhere to be seen: only heavy rain and grey clouds hiding the sun from showing.. He told himself repeatedly in his head that he was ready, but he couldn't jump... He desperately tried make his legs move forward but they refused. He was begging for them to just move, he was suffering so much, it hurt, he wanted it all to just stop, he was constantly in defense mode in his mind, stressed and worried that someone will try to hurt him, it was damaging him inside without his realisation...
He gave up and just sat there, on the edge, feeling broken beyond repair, waiting for the smallest sign of hope to show itself..
The black haired boy always thought that if he was given the chance to die, he would take it without a second thought.

But deep down he knew that he could have already done it if he truly wanted to, but he didn't. Because it wasn't what he was truly searching for,

he was searching for hope.

*~Kageyama's point of view (POV) *~

I woke up in my own sweat, I was struggling to breathe. I took deep breaths to try and calm down, I looked over at my alarm clock that was sitting quietly on my desk to check the time. It showed 4:36 AM, "couldn't I have woken up at a more normal time?" I thought to myself as I let out a pretty loud sigh. I decided that getting ready for school now would be much better than going back to sleep and risking being late. Plus, if I go to school late I might run into my dad, and that's something I'd rather won't happen. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and style my black silky hair. While doing getting ready, I remembered what happened yesterday with Shoyo , it made my cheeks turn slightly red as he was smiling to himself. After I finished doing everything I had to do, I made myself a sandwich while trying my hardest to not make any noises, the last thing I needed right now was to wake up my dad who yesterday passed out on the couch due to his drinking or something, I couldn't care less to be honest. Once I finished eating breakfast and packing up my bag I quickly ran out the door.

As I was walking to school, something felt different, mentally, it was a refreshing feeling, it was like a new clear page opened in my mind.
I looked up to see that there were many grey clouds spreading all over the sky, it looked a little chaotic, but that was fine.. As there was the comforting sun to lighten it up, it was shining brightly on my pale school, it was warm, but even so, the air itself was freezing cold! But thanks to the sun, it was also hopeful. That maybe, just maybe, the weather will get warmer.

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Author's note:

This chapter made me really emotional to be honest, I really like it I hope you liked it too! And sorry for the chapter being a little shorter than usual! I was planning on making it longer but in felt like this was a better. ❤ anyways, hope you have a great day, cya tomorrow!! Also, I know things seem to be a little too depressing for now, but TRUST ME THINGS ARE GONNA GET SO MUCH BETTER I ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING PLANNED IN MY HEAD, ALL THAT'S LEFT IS WRITING IT DOWN AND POSTING IT!!! Again, I'd REALLY appreciate it if you shared this story, it would really encourage me to keep writing as for now, not a lot of people have read this story and it makes me lose motivation. But worries if you can't, I completely understand, I hope you're enjoying it though! (✪ω✪)