No Turning Back

Chapter Nine: A Heady Past Pt. 1

Richtofen took a deep breath. His heart raced as his eyes struggled to focus. His inability to quell this internal uprising caused him to frustratedly lay down the scalpel and slip off his black surgical gloves. With a large sigh, he removed his surgeon's overalls before loosening his tie and undoing the collar button of his shirt. Richtofen's head spun in a hazy concoction of thoughts and emotions; with the intense bombardment forcing him to finally relent and take a seat at his desk.

Surgery had been the only thing that ever relaxed his mind yet there he was, with a racing pulse and ever racing mind, completely unable to find respite in his work. Though, of course, 'surgery' and 'dissection' were simply one and the same to Richtofen. Whether the subject was alive or not during the procedure never factored into things, he thought to himself; as he looked over at the decomposing corpse he had just left behind on the operating table.

The thought caused him to think back to his time spent amongst the Weimar elite; before the outbreak of WW2 put an end to the comfortable life he had spent carefully crafting for himself. After being welcomed into the upper echelons of German society; his newfound friends had begun to invite him to their gatherings to socialise. And much to Richtofen's surprise, everybody was interested in him. Outside of his regular entourage, who remained by his side throughout the whole evening, every guest would come to greet the genius doctor as they all eyed him with fascination.

Richtofen had always welcomed the attention on the superficial level as he would spend hours eventually boring the inebriated party goers into a comatose state; often by going off on one of his lectures regarding the beauty of blood or the intricacies of the spleen. And whilst the audience provided a boost to his already colossal ego - the lack of intellectual stimulation proved extremely disheartening.

But it was not just his reputation as a brilliant surgeon that stirred curiosity amongst them. Many of the females at the parties would eye him with childlike curiosity. He had gained a reputation amongst the ladies as the lone, broody silent type who simply needed a woman to tame him. Though, unbeknownst to them, Richtofen saw them all as pathetic, brainless harlots. So it was no surprise that he revelled in leading them on before savouring their anguish as he alluded to them that he was actually a homosexual. The disappointment in their faces was priceless, he thought to himself.

Richtofen had long since grown accustomed to running his acquaintances in circles as they tried to decipher his guarded private life and sexual preferences. He would leave the same trail of breadcrumbs that he had learned to leave as a child with Dr Vogel. And with Richtofen's decidedly flamboyant and melodramatic nature - he made sure to play up these qualities for his elaborate rouse.

It never ceased to baffle him how important it seemed to be for these people to reach a conclusion on things that was none of their business in the first place. Truth be told, he enjoyed his solitary existence - free of distraction and emotional neediness. Just because he did not want a female companion did not automatically make him gay.

Therefore, despite attending such lavish parties and opulent dinners; Richtofen would often feel drained by the socialising and hedonistic lifestyle which his peers found so unshakeabley intoxicating. Their immoral practices of orgies and rampant drug use were surprisingly repulsive to Richtofen - who looked down on their inane existence and lack of class.

His mind was too great to cloud and defile with noxious substances and the choice of human beings served up at such nefarious parties left little to be desired. Many young women and men would be rounded up and driven to country manors on the promise of monetary payment - which they never received. Instead, at the end of the party - once they served no further use - many were dumped back onto the streets where their drug addictions guided the rest of their lives.