No Turning Back

Chapter Seventeen: Back At The Cosmodrome

I sat around the fire listening to the evening's banter. Despite our miserly surroundings, there was some pleasure to be had just spending time with the guys. Nikolai lay in a drunken stupor as he had long since slumped over unconscious. Between his long grumbling snores he occasionally mumbled incoherently to himself. I chuckled as I remarked to myself about how tragically cute the drunk Russian looked.

It was still such an odd experience sitting across from people who did not even exist back home. Perhaps though, looking at it from their perspective, I should not even exist in theirs. I suppose the surreality of it all worked both ways. But regardless, just the thought of being here in this universe was still very overwhelming for me. Plus, having experienced everything that transpired since my arrival made my head spin and blood run cold. In all honesty, I don't think I'll ever truly get my head around it all.

My mind pulled itself back to the present before I locked eyes with Takeo - who was eyeing me with concern. I made a poor attempt at trying to smile over at him to reassure; but it was clear he knew I was troubled. I looked back over at Nikolai to try and lighten the mood as I tuned into his garbled sleep talking.

"Bleh-- *hiccup*... Ahem! Oh, excuse me ladies", Nikolai belched as he apologised to his fictitious audience.

"Vodka... mmmh-- spasiba!" Nikolai continued as he thanked one of them. But after a long pause, things then took a different turn.

"Uh-- bah! No touchy my vodka-- get your own!" He hissed lowly in his sleep as he suddenly became very possessive of his non-existent drink.

It was amusing listening to the invisible play which carried on in Nikolai's mind. But judging from his face as he slept; it was all very real to him. Throughout his animated performance, his eyes remained closed as his eyebrows undulations and his fave flicked between smiles and frowns. I let out a small giggle before looking back at Takeo - who I knew would find thespian Nikolai repulsive.

With his ever stoic demeanour, Takeo then turned and looked upon the sleeping drunk as well before his nose wrinkled in utter disgust. I let out a small laugh as I rolled my eyes at Takeo's reaction. He tried to remain serious but I could see a veiled smile which he struggled to hide - he was nowhere near as strict as he tried to portray. Behind his proverbs lay a man who cared deeply about his comrades.

My eyes then fell on Dempsey who puffed away on his cigarette as he cleaned out the barrel of his M16 - oblivious to me and Takeo's silent exchange of glances. The tip of the cigarette came to life and glowed incandescently each time he took a draw. Both hands methodically handled and picked up each component which lay neatly side by side in front of him. Not once did the cigarette leave Dempsey's lips as he simply parted them to allow the smoke to escape from one side of his mouth. Each draw of smoke would eventually billow out in a dense mist before mixing with the cool crisp air.

Dempsey must have felt my eyes on him since he finally broke his deep concentrative spell. I felt a little embarrassed at staring at him once I realised I had been caught in my own trance. My gaze darted around before landing back over to Dempsey as I smiled over awkwardly. Dempsey let out a gravelly laugh and grinned back before giving me one of his signature winks.

I then felt a pair of eyes on me as I turned in that direction to see Primis walking over to us. He had left to briefly explore and appraise the cosmodrome's laboratories.

"Hallo, Kiana" Primis smiled as once he approached me.

He sat down close to me as his usual frown softened and relaxed into a look of contentment. A week had passed since our little Christmas party. But, as the days went by, Primis and I had grown closer.

At times, it was almost unbelievable to think that he was anything like Richtofen. Behind the facade of his cold demeanour he could be so gentle and caring. Well, at least when he wasn't killing. Since we got here there had been no sign of the undead which made the desolation and destruction at the theatre feel like a lifetime ago.

But the absence of blood curdling howls and gnashing teeth did not bring us the peace that we had all expected. Somehow, the stillness of the barren facility left us feeling constantly on edge. It almost felt like each day of peace kept us teetering on knife edge as we awaited the day we would be plunged back into the carnage.

It had been weeks since Dr Gersch had first begun to instruct us on how to free him. However, we had come to a roadblock in this endeavour. Primis had been so desperately trying to overcome the limitations of building the kasimir mechanism with so few materials. Of course, his calculations checked out but putting theory into practice proved elusive. But perhaps we needed to find alternative solutions - which took Primis back to the drawing board.

As if having the same thoughts as me, Primis' contented smile quickly drooped into a deflated frown. As we all sat gathered around the fire there was a strong communal feeling of defeat. We had all tried out best to keep up morale and remain positive but it was incredibly frustrating for everyone - even Nikolai who didn't know the first thing about advanced physics.

Everyone instinctively looked at Primis and noted his sullen look. Nikolai snored away unaware as Takeo breathed a sigh and Dempsey finished putting his M16 back together.

"Goddammit!" Dempsey spat as he pounded the dirt with his palm.

The disturbance had kicked up some dust as it hovered above the ground before settling again. It had also awoken Nikolai who sat up looking like a deer in headlights before realising where he was.

"Fall seven times, get up eight" Takeo whispered wisely.

"Exactly! We'll get there eventually, Edward" I tried to reassure with a smile.

It was clear he appreciated our enthusiasm but it was not enough to rouse his own.

"You've had some time to clear your head. Maybe you'll be able to approach things from a different angle? I know I'm pretty useless at Physics but maybe it'll all come back to me and I can try to help", I explained as I put a hand on Primis' shoulder.

"I might not be able to do basic arithmetic but I haven't forgotten my advanced calculus!" I added dryly which brought a smile to his face.

"Yeah, c'mon doc! If anyone can solve this kasimir shit it's you!" Dempsey butted in as he tried offer his own words of encouragement.

"Zhank jou, Kiana. Zhank jou, everyone. I appreciate jou all sticking by me", Primis replied softly.

"Ayyyyy, the German is veeeeery smart! And I know smart!" Nikolai slurred as he chimed in - causing us all to laugh. But it was clear that Primis genuinely appreciated our efforts.

The cool bright glow of the moon competed with the warm flames of the fire. We then became aware of the sudden cold breeze which snaked its way through us. Dempsey had been due to take watch but as he stood up to take his post, Primis quickly stopped him.

"I vill take vatch zhis evening. I vant to get back to mein vork" Primis explained.

Dempsey looked relieved as he conceded without another word and quickly plopped himself down by the fire and passed out. Nikolai had already fallen back to sleep again and was blissfully snoring away. Takeo gave a grunt and a nod before he tipped his hat over his eyes and slouched back. He flipped up the collar of his jacket and folded his arms as he too settled for the night. Primis looked around at me as he awaited to hear what I intended to do for the evening.

"Let me help you", I said to Primis - which was more of a statement than an offer. But from the look on his face he seemed happy at the prospect.

"Zhank jou", he whispered with a grateful smile.

End of part seventeen...