No Turning Back

Chapter Twenty-Four: Kampf

Primis' heart began to beat faster as a rush of cold swept throughout his body. Then, there was a sudden metallic taste in his mouth as his senses reenacted the scene. His ribs aches and his body tensed as he began to fully immerse himself in the recollection.

He was 12, small and meek for his age, and laying on the cold stone floor of an orphanage. It was the very same Catholic orphanage that he had been sent to after the death of his parents and sister. But in this moment, Primis relived the pain of the injuries he had sustained that particular day - when he was brutally beaten to a pulp by the other children.

The nuns who ran the orphanage did little in the way of protecting Primis from the wrath of the other kids. Instead, they took every effort to remind him that any punishment he received was deserved and ordained by God. It was his fault for being unlikeable. And, according to them, he would never have been in this situation if it were not his fault. In their twisted idea of morality and judgment - this was the price of penance for his sins.

Primis shivered uncontrollably as he recalled the monumental effort it took for him to try and lift his injured body onto it's feet. His ribs stiffened and cracked with every breath as his eyes struggled to remain focused. The pain which coursed through his body caused him to fall back down with each hopeless attempt. His attackers had long since lost interest in him and were now content to play amongst themselves in the other room - callously content to leave him laying there suffering.

"Get up", Primis cried to himself.

"GET UP!" He mentally screamed in his mind.

Then, as if being carried by a great force behind his movements, Primis finally mustered the strength to rise to his feet. With one thin boney bloodied hand; he held onto the wall to steady himself.

"Vhy do jou let zhem do zhis to jou?!" Primis chastised himself angrily.

"Zhere must be a vay to end zhis torment!" Primis spat as he bared his teeth with the pain.

"ZHEY MUST PAY!" He roared in his mind with gritted teeth.

The sound of heels clicking on the stone floor caused Primis to turn around. His eyes locked onto the sight of one of the nuns who then gingerly approached Primis as she recoiled in disgust at the bloody state he was in.

"Vhat did jou do now -- hm? Edvard?" The woman hissed menacingly - immediately opting to place the blame on him. 

"Zhe Lord knows exactly vhat jou are. Und he knows jou deserve nozhing but zhe beatings of jour peers!" The woman spat cruelly.

"Jou are nozhing but a sinful little boy!" She exclaimed with obvious pleasure as she tore into his last remaining ounce of dignity.

Primis felt his chest tighten as he recalled that day. But sadly, such a day was just one of many...

When Primis first arrived at the old dilapidated orphanage; he rarely spoke. After the tragedy which befell his family, the overwhelming sense of grief and shock numbed him to his core. As the days at the orphanage went by; they began to blend into a haze whilst Primis drifted in and out of time.

The reality of the situation would never truly sink in. There was always that part of him that refused to accept what had happened. It was terrifying how suddenly life could take such a turn for the worse. And during this hazy dreamlike trance Primis had found himself in; his imagination began to create a world where there was no pain. There was no suffering in this word - this was a world where his family could still be together.