Star Wars: Not Quite A Shadow (WIP)

Chapter 4

Petra had little trouble locating Obi-Wan later that day. She knew he always preferred to end his days in the upper south level of the meditation gardens. Anakin did not have a taste for meditation, however Obi-Wan encouraged him each day to develop his meditation skills. Though she didn't want anyone else knowing, Petra loved the gardens. Growing up on a desert planet did not afford her much opportunity to be around anything green or lush, therefore the gardens became an escape when she felt overwhelmed. It was no surprise when she discovered that Obi-Wan also preferred the gardens to the hum of the Temple. It was yet another connection they shared. Little did Petra know at the time that Obi-Wan preferred the gardens because they reminded him of his home planet of Stewjon. His favorite spot was under a large tree near the brook. It was here that Petra found him and Anakin, meditating. Or in Anakin's case, attempting to meditate. Not wanting to disturb them, she approached them quietly and sat on a nearby rock.

"You must focus your mind, Anakin," Obi-Wan was saying quietly. "Clear it of any distraction or thought."

Anakin sighed. "I don't understand how to focus it and yet clear it at the same time. That doesn't make any sense."

Obi-Wan's eyes were closed, and he took a breath before continuing, "I know it's difficult for you but you must try."

Anakin groaned with frustration. "I can't do it, Master."

"You are only as capable as you allow yourself to be," Obi-Wan replied calmly. "But, perhaps that's enough for today. Your sister apparently wants to talk to me." Until that moment, Petra had not been listening closely to their conversation. However, at the mention of her name, her head snapped up and she saw Obi-Wan smiling, with his eyes still closed. He opened one eye before fully focusing his attention on her. He was smiling because he had sensed her presence the moment she set foot in the gardens. She stood quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you," she said, stammering.

Anakin stood and brushed his pants off. "You didn't. I can't get this meditation thing down."

Obi-Wan stood as well, straightening his tunic as he did so. "You will, I promise. It just takes patience...and time."

"Yeah, well, I'm not good at being patient" Anakin said matter-of-factly. Petra laughed. A truer word than that had never been spoken. "What did you want to talk to Obi-Wan about?"

Petra blushed. "Master Kenobi, Anakin," she said. "And it's private."

Anakin shrugged. Obi-Wan donned the robe he had discarded on a rock. "Anakin, why don't you go eat? We'll be along in a bit."

"Aw, man," Anakin whined before a sharp look from Obi-Wan dissuaded a tantrum. "Yes, Master" he said sullenly before trotting back into the Temple. There was a silent moment before either Petra or Obi-Wan spoke. Even then, Obi-Wan was the first to break the silence. "You're well?"

She nodded. "Yes. You?"

"Well enough," he replied. "Your brother is taxing."

She smiled. "He tends to wear on people, I know. Still, be patient with him. He just takes a lot of time."

"I'm gathering it's a family characteristic" he said teasingly. She blushed again. "What is it you wanted to speak with me about?"

She hesitated before answering. "Stass...Master Allie I mean, thought I should talk to you about....about what happened to Qui-Gon". Her voice trailed off near the end as she fought back tears.

Instinctively, he placed his hand on her back and guided her to a nearby bench. "I had no idea you were struggling with this. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't want you to feel worse," she said, wiping tears away. "I knew you were close to him and I didn't want to seem silly for being so upset."

He smiled weakly. "You aren't being silly. I knew you were upset but I had no idea that you were this upset. I too have moments where I still find myself grieving over his death."

She looked up at him. "Really?"

He nodded. "I practically grew up as his apprentice. He became my master when I was 12 years old...and I thought I would never be assigned to a master." He laughed. "I don't think Qui-Gon was too keen on me at first."

"But you seemed so close," she said puzzled. "Why would he not want to train you?"

"He believed I was too dangerous," Obi-Wan answered, his hand resting on his knee. "Interestingly enough, it was a joint mission to the mining colony of Bandomeer that changed his mind. In short, we had to rely on one another for survival and that convinced him to request me as his apprentice once we returned to Coruscant." Obi-Wan sighed. "I do miss him. There are many days I feel lost as Anakin's master....perhaps the Council was right about my inexperience."

She turned to him and placed her hand on his. "No. They weren't right. I know my brother is difficult, but you have handled him well. If anyone can train him to be a Jedi, it's you." He turned his hand over and clasped her hand in his. "It's been six months. I thought the pain would go away by now."

He sighed. "Grief is a funny creature. Qui-Gon always told me that you can't rush healing. You have to let it take its time. Eventually, I think you and I can talk about him without it causing such pain."

They were quiet for a moment. Petra realized this was the first time since they first left Tatooine that Obi-Wan had touched her in this way. She also realized that, despite knowing better, she was enjoying it.

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