Star Wars: Not Quite A Shadow (WIP)

Chapter 10

Petra paced back and forth, biting her lip and rubbing her hands together. She knew it had only been a few minutes since the three of them had gone through those doors, but it felt like much longer. As she turned for what felt like the hundredth time, the doors slid open and the three of them walked out. Qui-Gon did not appear to be very happy, and for that matter, neither did Anakin or Obi-Wan. "We're leaving for Naboo. This way," Qui-Gon said briskly. He walked to the lift without waiting for her to acknowledge him or answer. Obi-Wan glanced at her but said nothing. As Petra and Anakin walked to the lift together, she asked, "What happened?"

Anakin shrugged dejectedly. "They said I was too old to be trained."

She placed a hand on his shoulder as they reached the lift. "Oh, Ani. I'm so sorry. I know you had your heart set on it."

He said nothing as they entered the lift and began their descent. The tension was palpable between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, and Petra wondered exactly what had happened behind those closed doors. Obi-Wan glanced at her a couple of times, but kept silent while Qui-Gon refused to look at any of them. He seemed irritated, yet deep in thought at the same time. Petra thought she would try to engage Obi-Wan in conversation as they made their way back to the Naboo ship. "Anakin told me what happened, that they won't let him be trained," she said, turning to Obi-Wan. He merely nodded. "Why?"

He hesitated before answering her. "The Jedi have a code. Most children are trained beginning when they are only two or three years old." She seemed taken aback by this. "The reason is to prevent attachments to their families," he continued, quickly realizing she had no idea what he was talking about. "I'll explain it to you in detail later." And with that, he moved to walk beside Qui-Gon as the group assembled on the landing platform, speaking softly to his master regarding his concerns. Qui-Gon, however, accused him of disrespect for not trusting his judgment.

"It's not disrespect, Master, it's the truth," Obi-Wan argued, loudly enough that Petra and Anakin could hear him.

Qui-Gon was unfazed. "From your point of view, perhaps."

"The boy is dangerous," continued Obi-Wan, adamant that he be heard. "They all sense it, why can't you?"

Qui-Gon turned to face his apprentice. "His fate is uncertain; he's not dangerous. The Council will decide Anakin's future, and that should be enough for you. Now get on board." Obi-Wan wanted to argue, wanted to press his point, but he sensed it was futile. Qui-Gon had made his decision, and no amount of arguing would dissuade him. Obi-Wan turned and boarded the ship, frustration punctuating each step. Petra wondered exactly why Obi-Wan was so set against her brother being trained. She may not be a Jedi, but even she could tell there was immense tension between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan regarding Anakin. She wanted to dispel it somehow, yet she did not know how to go about doing so. She decided the best way would be to speak to him before they left. She found Obi-Wan in engineering, absently perusing the readouts of the hyperdrive and engine. "I take it you don't agree with Qui-Gon's opinion regarding my brother."

Obi-Wan scoffed and shook his head. "Not one bit. My master is a fool for trying to go against the Council in this," he said, turning to her. "Don't mistake me. I don't wish ill for you or your brother. But the Order has rules for a reason. Most, if not all of the Jedi currently serving have done so since they were children, younger than your brother. There is a reason for the Jedi raising children in the ways of the Order. Your brother is too old, too many attachments have already been formed that may prove harmful later."

"May?" Petra queried. "You dismiss him on the basis of a maybe? What if he proves you wrong and he isn't too old?"

He shook his head again. "No. It's too dangerous," he hesitated before continuing. "Listen, I want nothing but the best for you, so I won't argue with you regarding this. You know my stance on the matter. Leave it alone." And with that, he turned and disappeared further into the ship, leaving Petra alone with her thoughts, and an argument resting on her lips that she never vocalized. She made her way back to the cockpit where she was welcomed by Captain Olie. He invited her to sit in one of the open seats, and they were soon setting course for Naboo. After learning it would be a few hours before they arrived, Petra drifted off to sleep, her body no longer able to fight the exhaustion that had plagued her for several days. When she woke, they had landed in the middle of a lush clearing, surrounded by trees and more green than she had ever seen before; uniformed soldiers milled about underneath the trees. Were it not for the impending sense of doom she carried with her, she would have enjoyed the scenery more. She joined Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, her brother, and the rest of the crew in the main hold, where they disembarked together with the Queen and her handmaidens. The group continued further into the trees, into the swampy marshlands of Naboo. Petra soon realized from the murmurings of the soldiers around her, that they were searching for Jar Jar's people, hoping that they would assist the humans of Naboo in their fight against the Trade Federation.

The group soon stopped to rest briefly, for which Petra and Anakin were both grateful. Petra purposely pulled away from the main group, Obi-Wan's sour mood from earlier still affecting her. Anakin stayed with the handmaidens, though Padme seemed distracted and too deep in thought to talk to him.

Obi-Wan noticed Petra moving away from the group, and observed her as she sat under a nearby tree. He wondered if he should apologize for his harsh words to her, yet he did not feel any remorse over expressing his beliefs. While he was still in disagreement with his master regarding Anakin, he knew that he would need to keep the peace between himself and his master, even if it meant admitting he was wrong. Qui-Gon stood slightly apart from the group, appearing to observe their surroundings. Obi-Wan joined him and said, "Jar Jar is well on his way to the Gungan city, Master."

Qui-Gon hesitated before answering, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. "Good."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat before continuing. "Do you think the Queen's idea will work?"

"The Gungans will not be easily swayed," Qui-Gon answered without moving. "And we cannot use our power to help her."

"I'm...I'm sorry for my behavior on Coruscant, master. It's not my place to disagree with you about the boy. And I am grateful you think I'm ready for the trials." Obi-Wan shuffled his feet a bit.

At this, Qui-Gon shifted his weight and turned to Obi-Wan, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You have been a good apprentice, Obi-Wan. And you're a much wiser man than I am." He glanced over at Petra before finishing. "I foresee you will become a great Jedi Knight, if you keep your focus where it should be."

Obi-Wan blushed slightly as his eyes inadvertently traveled to Petra. "My focus is where it should be, Master. I know my oath."

"Is that so, my apprentice?" Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed and his face tightened for a moment before returning to their normal relaxed position. "I know you care for her. I care about her as well; I'm responsible for bringing her and Anakin here with us and I feel the weight of that continually."

Obi-Wan looked back at him, sighing. "Master, I know that it is against the Jedi Code to love someone. But what if...what if I cannot change how I feel? What if it's like Satine all over again?"

Qui-Gon took a breath. "You must learn one thing, Obi-Wan: to love someone is not evil. To become attached to that person is of the dark side. You must learn to let go of those you care about. Only then can you truly love someone else." He paused. "But I caution you. Loving someone else is difficult, even costly."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't fully understand, Master."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Someday you will realize the truth of what I've said. But until then, focus on your growth as a Jedi before you involve yourself with her. You may discover you don't love her in that way."

Obi-Wan nodded as Qui-Gon moved away to talk to Captain Panaka and the Queen. Obi-Wan turned and realized Petra was focused on him. Even when their eyes met, she did not back down from her intense study of him. He wondered how long she had been observing them, and exactly what was running through her mind. He wished he had the freedom to probe her thoughts, but it was considered a violation of a person's or species' privacy and was expressly forbidden by the Code unless a matter of life and death. He nodded at her and broke her gaze, turning to re-join the group as Jar Jar returned with bad news: the Gungans had disappeared.