Tears Of A Dying Sunflower

Locations

It's been two years since I last visited the locations we once together went. A vivid recollection that is still alive deep inside my mind. I took a deep breath as the memories flooded me one by one. Everything was so lucid, the memories were so clear. Memories about the two of us, places where it all started, and the places where it all fell apart.

The park—

This is where we first met. When we sat on a bench beneath a tall tree. You were reading a book, the same book I held in my hands. My curiosity pulled me closer to you, you told me you loved books, as much as I do. Those first words suddenly connected our worlds. That's where it all began.

The bookstore—

I remember it vividly. When I helped you carry the books you bought from a nearby bookstore. It was around six in the evening and the store almost closed its doors. It took me some reasoning and a little argument with the shop owner, but eventually she gave up and sold us the books at a reasonable price. You laughed at the scenario, you told me I looked so funny when I was so persistent. Your smile captivated my heart at that moment. I then accompanied you to your home. I kept saying stupid jokes while you kept laughing. I couldn't understand how happy I felt that night. That was the first time we walked around together.

The library—

We were in the library that time, as we were reading books and sharing our stories, I said the magic words. I didn't realize it at once, but I suddenly confessed to you. I couldn't understand how the words escaped from my mouth. I was scared you'd hate me, you wouldn't want someone like me. But the smile on my face could not be wiped off easily when I heard you say yes. An endless rain of bliss instantly fell on me. You told me you were just waiting for me to say the words. The librarian even scolded me for being so noisy, but I was so happy that time.

The streetlight—

It was night and we were walking down a small pathway when the most memorable moment happened in my life. You asked me what I liked about you. "Why me?" You said. And I answered with a big wide smile, "I love you, every aspect that you own, and everything you are". You smiled. And under the streetlight you closed your eyes. I kissed you. Time froze, and the world stayed silent as it gave us the moment and as it watched the both of us.

The bridge—

We were walking and talking as usual as we passed through the short bridge the city carved specially for the two of us. I kept my humour alive, because I wanted to see you smile everytime. But something felt strange this time. I didn't notice at first, but your eyes shone dark, you kept laughing but I saw inside, you were crying. You told me "everything is okay, why would I be sad?" You said with a reassuring voice. I trusted your words and I just dismissed it as my mind playing tricks with me. But I couldn't shrug off the peculiar feeling I sensed that time. It scared me and I didn't know why.

The hospital—

I kept calling you for hours, I kept texting you for days, yet I received no response. I did everything I could just so I could communicate with you. I haven't seen you for two weeks already, and I was getting worried. I tried searching, but I couldn't find you anywhere. I was scared, I was anxious. Until one day, your mother called me. You were in the hospital. My heart broke down into pieces when I heard you were suffering from a disease. Swiftly, I ran to the hospital you were confined to. My tears kept falling, you were suffering from cardiomyopathy. Doctors said you don't have much time, I never believed them. I couldn't bear the world without you. I got angry at them, I got angry at the world. This isn't real, isn't it? Everything is just a joke, it's all just a big lie! We both cried, I held your hand. You told me everything will be okay, I should stop my tears from falling. But I kept crying, no matter how hard I try I couldn't accept it. How can life be so unfair?

The graveyard—

It's been two years since it all happened. And everytime I visit the locations I still can't stop my tears from falling. The doctors couldn't save you, my prayers were not answered. I still can't accept the truth. The blades of reality keep stabbing my body, leaving me hopelessly wounded. You're so selfish, leaving me alone like this. Why did you have to go? How long should I wait? How long should I keep on crying? How long should I keep on killing myself inside? How long should I keep on suffering? Will this ever end?

—

It's been two years already. I hope you're in a safe place now. I still remember everything clearly. I am a writer now. And I'm planning to publish a book, about the two of us, about everything we had, about how much I love you. I hope you're happy, wherever you are right now.

I will never replace you in my heart, I love you.

And most of all. . .

I miss you.