When a Star Falls (SakuAtsu)

Sakusa POV

"KI-YOO-MI!"

"KI-YOO-MI!"

Sakusa was panting as he tried to wipe the sweat off of his palms, trying to ignore the screams from the audience. Disgusting. I need to wash my hands. Did I do the full rotation? I don't think I did it all five times. I think it was three. Three's not a good number. It needs to be five. I need to wash my hands -

"Kiyoomi, you'll be on stage in five minutes, get backstage now. " Sakusa's manager ordered. Her scowl set deep on her face as she ignored the state he was in. Her long, black hair was tied up in a high bun, and she was wearing her usual dark blue business suit.

He glared at her right back, but couldn't hold it for much longer as the moisture on his hands grew. He didn't want to go back on that stage where the lights blinded him. Where it grew so hot that everyone was sweating and it dripped everywhere. Where fans screamed and Sakusa was sure they were getting their saliva all over the place. He didn't like how they crowded so close together and tried to reach out with those hands. Those hands he had no idea where they'd been, when the last time they were washed. He tried to shut his thoughts off, but flashed back to the moment when he was on a narrow stage and walked out into the center of the audience and one fan managed to grab his ankle. He wasn't wearing long socks or shoes. She had touched his bare skin with hers, and he sprinted off stage to vomit. No one cared or was worried, it was just classic Sakusa and his thing .

Now he never went on stage unless his legs and feet were completely covered. His manager tried to fight him on it, but it was one thing she couldn't win against. He brought his therapist in and everything to make sure of it. Not that she ever really cared what his therapist had to say anyways. She never wanted him to see one in the first place.

"You're only halfway through this tour. We just arrived in America, where most of your performances are. This is your first world tour. You can't stop now." His manager insisted as she reached out to pull him to the stage.

He immediately flinched back with a venomous glare. "Don't you fucking dare." He kept stepping back as she was stepping closer and was stuck in the corner. It feels hotter in this room than before, is the air conditioner off? He pulled at the collar of the skin tight black shirt he was wearing. He liked being completely covered, but he didn't like being suffocated. He needed to breathe. He needed to get away-

"I'm your mother, stop being so dramatic." He hated when she tried to pull that card. She hadn't been his mother for a very long time. "Let's go." She demanded as she rolled her eyes at his "dramatics." She reached out again and grabbed his sleeve and pulled on it hard.

"I can't do this." Sakusa gasped as he tried to wipe the moisture from his palms again. His mother shouldn't be able to drag him towards the stage. He was a full grown, twenty-four year old man, who had endured years worth of workouts and exercises. But his body wasn't moving the way he wanted. His legs were heavy, his arms felt like dead weights at his side, and he couldn't stop trembling. He didn't want to go back on the stage. Not again.

He fought to not have this tour from the beginning. He let his mother convince him to tour East Asia because it wasn't too much. Then she started pushing her way to the entire continent. He had barely made it through that one. She had pushed him to his limit, and he announced he wouldn't be doing tours for a long time. However, his fame took over and so did his mother. Again. She proposed the idea of a world tour, and all of the producers and executives were right on board. No matter how much he shouted that he couldn't do it. That it was going to be too much for him. No one listened, and now here he was in one of the biggest cities, New York in fact, in America, being dragged on a stage he didn't want to stand on.