KALOPSIA ✓

24. don't make a beggar of me

24. don't make a beggar of me
"I want your love, not your sympathy, Please don't make a beggar of me."

//

he steps inside, one foot after the other.

biting down on his lip, Hoseok stands out among the mothers at the nursery. he notices how no two mothers are the same– everyone differs from each other. there's the chatty mothers talking to others about the dull, rainy weather, about the gossip (he even hears something about Taehyung's new music single and movie announcement which makes him scowl). then there's the mothers who simply thank the nursery staff, tug on their child's hand and take them home. other mothers take up the staff's time, complaining and shouting at their lack of support.

he notices a lot in very little time. i won't be like any of them, he remarks to himself– he's going to be the best father he can be.

although today he's picking Gaia up for his own needs, one day he'll be able to pick her up with an easier smile. he'll be able to retreat home, kiss Crema hello and live up to the role of a father.

a role his own father never did justice to.

further stepping into the nursery, Hoseok tries to appear invisible. he doesn't even need to try because no one is paying attention to him, not even the staff who are supposed to. everyone is so busy in their own worlds, lives and heads– no one bothering to notice an unfamiliar man entering the premises to pick up a child.

"hi there." Hoseok approaches the staff handing out the children— one by one. he notices Gaia at the front of the line immediately– he's ten minutes early, before Crema can get here, a perfect plan. "i'll be picking up Gaia today. i've been told to do so."

the younger lady eyes him wearily. "who are you sir?" she asks, taking in his attire of muddy boots, cargo pants and yellow jacket. when she meets his eyes, a whole different feeling surges through her body– they're bright, bronze and full of positive utopia. he embodies the sunshine that's missing from the skies today.

Hoseok expected the question. "i've been told by Crema to attend, so don't worry." he knows the mention of Crema will allow him to get away with what he's doing.

taking Gaia's hand in his before scooping her into his arms, he leaves the nursery with a bright, cunning smile. he knows it's wrong... he knows, but God, he just wants to take his daughter out for ice cream. he wants to wipe her sticky mouth, see what flavour she likes, if she likes the same chocolate flavour as him and have him smile at her– just know him for who he is.

her father.

Gaia hangs onto Hoseok, not in a daughterly way but in a way that means she has no choice but to, otherwise she'd fall. she glances at him several times in confusion, soon after distracted by the ice cream bar that they arrive at. it's brightly coloured with pastel gradients, ice cream of all flavours ready to be scooped.

after two tubs of ice cream are purchased, Hoseok places Gaia in the seat beside him. he feeds her little feedings with the plastic spoon, smiling every time she opens her mouth for more— still looking at him with bewilderment.

"my name is Hoseok." the man with a dream that's coming true, speaks. his smile is uncontrollable— it hasn't wiped off his face ever since he picked his daughter up. Gaia seems to feel calm in his presence, asking for more ice cream.

Hoseok pouts happily when she pats her small hands on her thighs covered with a plain dress. "what's your name?" he asks, already aware of her name since he heard Yoongi in the store— cooing at her.

Gaia shakes her head, sticky mouth present.

Hoseok smiles a soft smile, wiping her mouth with a tissue. "you're not going to tell me?" he raises his brows.

she says nothing, face remaining blank.

"that's okay." Hoseok shrugs, merely happy to be in his young daughters presence. "i guess i'll just talk about myself then..." he hums, liking how Gaia listens to him. unlike other civilians, he feels heard from a child. a child. what is society like nowadays?

"i'm a builder but that's boring—" he chuckles, scooping the ice cream into his mouth and letting it melt. "i build bridges, i'll show you the ones i have helped with. maybe i'll get to take you one day."

innocent eyes blink back at him.

"i wonder what you're going to like in the future..." he thinks for a moment, his curiosity peaks when he imagines older Gaia chasing her dreams or even calling him dad— that's his own dream he no longer needs to chase. "don't be a loser like your dad." he adds a nervous laugh.

taking Gaia's hand in his five minutes after, he throws the empty ice cream tubs away. "i'm sorry i couldn't be here for when God brought you onto earth, but i'm here now and i'm never leaving your side."

in his arms, he hugs her close.

it strikes Hoseok after two hours, what he's done and how it looks. the panic rises up his throat and he goes to the only place he knows for advice.

Namjoon opens his house door, sleepy eyes in the ebony darkness blinking at wakeful Hoseok who stands at his doorstep. the therapist gazes down in confusion, opening the door just a little. "Hoseok? what are you doing here?" he asks. "how do you know where i live?" another question.

Hoseok expected the questions. he holds quiet Gaia in his arms, glad she's stopped crying and is now resting her head on his shoulder. "we once got drunk at the bar and you told me to take you home, so i remembered your address." he explains. "i wrote it down. do you want me to get rid of it?"

Namjoon sighs. "it's fine, what do you want? wait, is that a child?"

Hoseok nods eagerly. he turns a little to show Namjoon Gaia's sleepy, innocent face. "yes Namjoon— this is my child, look at her." he beams, chestnut eyes unaware of what chaos he has caused. "she doesn't look like me, she gets her looks from her mother but isn't she just gorgeous..."

Hoseok notices Namjoon swallow harshly. he doesn't even glance at the child, his eyes are focused on Hoseok in bewilderment, concern and slight fear. thankfully, Hoseok doesn't notice the fear. "Hoseok..." Namjoon starts, fumbling with words. "this is so wrong, fuck... you—"

"this is kidnapping."

Hoseok stills, no longer cradling Gaia. "what?" his face pales.

"i'm her father Namjoon."

"i know you are but—" Namjoon runs a hand down his exhausted face. Hoseok had woken him from his early night sleep. "please just go," he croaks out gently. "i'll see you for our session later this week. go away alright?" he tries to be stern but gentle.

after a long fifteen minutes, Hoseok feels tears spring to his eyes once he jolts Gaia awake. he runs a hand through her growing hair and smiles a forceful smile. bidding her goodbye, he leaves her on Crema's door step to her apartment. after a hard knock, Gaia starts to cry and he runs away.

Crema, a worried and pained mother who was just on the phone to the police and Taehyung, opens her door. surprised by the late evening time, she looks down to see her crying daughter.

her knees collide with the wooden floor as she engulfs her daughter in her tired, skinny arms. "oh my god." she sighs into her child's hair. Crema's tears blend with her own blooded daughter.