KALOPSIA ✓

31. like a sad song

31. like a sad song
"Sometimes I feel like a sad song. Like I'm all alone without you."

//

death is far too accepted now.

Namjoon never knew the extent and reality of the statement until Hoseok. he's never had anyone close to him die— no one. now that a client has passed away, he feels that he needs to do something right.

he doesn't know if him being Hoseok's therapist ever helped, if talking ever helped Hoseok as a person but he likes to think that it did. he likes to think that Hoseok was getting better until his life was cut too short.

the past few weeks have been the hardest Namjoon has ever been through. ignoring calls from his parents, cancelling client sessions and keeping the practice closed— he knows he's doing the right thing. several days have been spent in the police station, giving statements, saying what he can without breaking confidentiality, explaining to the police officers that he can't give out personal information— even if the person is dead, police officers threatening him, him being unable to sleep and turning to medication he hasn't needed in a long time, going back to the police station, finally suggesting Taehyung as a prime suspect, officers keeping him until midnight and reviewing the pieces of information he's collected— his suspicions and possible truth's.

he doesn't know why he's putting in so much effort for a boy he never truly appreciated. there's no guilt, there's just sadness. he knows he's the only one feeling the sadness— the need to do something right— but he can't blame everyone else for their lack of sympathy. once again, the fact is there— death is too accepted, death is too common. but how does that make things easier?

the sadness increases each more everyday, despite him doing all that he can. in fact, when he finally receives the confirmation for Hoseok's gravestone— months after, the sadness remains but bleakness also joins and it's a horrible feeling.