Loving the Dead

Chapter 3

It would be a week until Izuku visited him again.

Izuku sat on Katsuki's desk swinging his legs back and forth while he waited for the other to come back from school. Izuku had been out practicing on other people and now he could fully grasped living beings and even manifest himself completely so they could touch him as well. He wanted to do it on Katsuki, seeing his reaction when he could fully touch him. 

A door downstairs closed and he couldn't wipe the smirk off his face. He was thrumming with excitement. He thought back on why he was doing this, why he still followed Katsuki even in his death. Well it was simple really and Katsuki would see that when he decided to be a man and read the rest of his journals. Even in death he still cared for the other but he was so pent up on negative emotions he could barely register himself anymore. 

What happened to the caring Izuku that took it with no complaints?

He Died.

Simple as that.

He jumped off the roof.

Dropped to the ground.

Went splat against the pavement.

Izuku remember the last sight he had before his heart gave out. It was Katsuki looking at him horrified, his eyes were glassy and it looked like he wanted to cry. That made Izuku tingly, seeing emotions that weren't anger based, he wanted more of it. So when he spawned at the roof again in his ghost form he went home to see his torn mother and went across the road to see Katsuki's torn self as well. 

It intrigued him, why wasn't he happy? 

He jumped, he followed Katsuki's advice and took a swan dive off the roof. 

So where was the smile?

Why wasn't he laughing over his grave?

Why didn't he spit on it with a smirk?

"Where is the Katsuki I once knew?" He asked out loud to the still empty room. He sighed and went down to see what was taking him long. His parents weren't home Izuku checked before he planned what he decided to do today. He didn't like walking through objects so he walked naturally like he was still alive. He could open a door now so it was much easier.

He looked downstairs to see Katsuki curled on the sofa. He didn't seem to be moving so Izuku went closer and stopped before him. He crouched down and shifted the hair from his eyes to see they were wide open. Izuku showed no reaction to this, he didn't even acknowledge him. He just continued to play in his hair. He always knew Katsuki's hair was soft, ever since they were kids he was he only one allowed to play in it but as time went on and things got worse that was shot to hell.

"Such a pretty one aren't you Katsuki." Izuku said and watched as Katsuki gasped pulling back slightly. "I'm not done playing in your hair." Katsuki leaned forward and Izuku ran his fingers back through it making Katsuki shiver from time to time as his nails brushed his scalp.  

He crouched there humming to himself as he played in the mess and he would've continued if Katsuki didn't whimper. He was shivering again a sign that Izuku couldn't stay longer, if he did Katsuki would stiffen up from the cold. He sighed and faded away leaving Katsuki to his devices.

When Katsuki had gotten home he didn't think he could go up to his room. He had a feeling Izuku was waiting for him so he curled up on the couch and waited until he felt like Izuku was gone. It wasn't worth it because Izuku walked down the stairs and crouched before him, it was slowly getting colder as he approached him. He leaned down and brushed away his hair which gave Katsuki a full view of his pale face, ghostly white.

When he spoke Katsuki felt like he was dreaming, what were the chances of ghost existing?

What was the chance of Izuku visiting him for real?

He thought they were his hallucinations, the tub drowning he passed off as his lapse in judgement. He didn't want to die.

Right?

The guilt wasn't eating him inside right?

He still wanted to be a hero.

Right?

He didn't know anymore, he just wanted it to stop. This guilt, he didn't want to be the trigger anymore, he didn't want to be Izuku's reason for jumping anymore. He couldn't take it anymore, he could feel it on his fingers.

Every time he grabbed Izuku. 

Every time he activated his quirk to burn him.

Punching him.

Scratching him.

Kicking him.

Insults.

He could feel all those on his hands, in his mouth, tingling his feet. He buried himself deeper in his sofa as the sunset came. All he could hear was Izuku's pleas, his screams for stop, him yelling out his childhood name. All he did was snicker at his pain and amped it up when he said stop.

He was nothing but a sadistic bastard, who thrived off pain.

Where were those friends he had when he was beating on Izuku?

They left him alone, abandoned him.

They knew what he said and now they left him to try and put himself back together. 

He gave into the darkness.

He was woken up by his mother who said to get his ass back into bed and not catch a cold. He stumbled up there and saw Izuku sitting on his dresser, he didn't know what compelled him to do this but he did it anyway. He stood in front of the pale figure and tried to cup his cheek but it would seem Izuku didn't want him to touch him. 

"You always hurt me when you approach me." Izuku said tilting his head. "But when I approach you, you ignore me."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you would jump, I didn't know I had fucked you up that badly." Katsuki said as he choked on his own voice, tears slipped down his face and dampened his blue carpet which now felt numb under his feet. Izuku chuckled a bit and leaned forward just inches from pressing his body against the living being.

"No one knew Katsuki, that was the point." Izuku snapped glaring at him. "I guess I should be asking are you happy?"

"Happy that you won?"

"Happy that I took your advice?"

"Aren't you glad the quirkless loser is gone? Dead?"

"Come one Katsuki, tell me aren't you happy?"

Katsuki pressed his lips in a thin line as he gripped his clothes. Izuku got annoyed and slapped him, the echoed gave Izuku a pleased smile. Katsuki stumbled and fell over. He looked down still crying as he gazed at those familiar crimson shoes that kicked back and forth like the owner was a mere child in a park. 

"Answer Me Kacchan!" The yell made it seem like the room was shaking in Katsuki's eyes.

"No, no I'm not happy. I want you to come back."

"The dead doesn't revive."